Changes

After serving in the Young Women's presidency for over two years in two different wards, I have been released. I am sad and relieved all rolled into one headachy ball. Figure that out.

I am now serving as the second counselor in the Primary presidency. I think it is going to be a nice change.

Maybe I will have more time to do something I love. . . READ! I'd love to hear what you are reading right now. Put it in the comment box!

PS. Week one without facebook, and it hasn't really been that hard. I did have to briefly activate my account so that I could get some information on there, but I wasn't even tempted to try and catch up. On and off within 10 minutes. My plan right now is to get through April, and then possibly reactivate in May, but only check it once a week. :/

Divide and Conquer

I don't know how it works at your house, but at our house, the ideal evening routine goes something like this:

Mom gets kids bathed and in jammies before dinner.
Dad gets home.
Dinner.

Divide and Conquer: One parent cleans up dinner while the other parent helps with bedtime routines and upstairs pick-up.

Kids are in bed by 8:00 and house is returned to a somewhat less-chaotic state.

Tonight Joe chose clean-up. I hollered throughout the house that it was time for family prayer. (Sometimes it takes a few hollers.) Ammon, Grant, and Mom and Dad were waiting on the two stragglers, and Dad rubbed his tired eyes and said, "My eyeballs are falling out." Grant looked up with a mixture of wonder and concern and said, "Can I see?"


******************

More celebrating:

*I got this bike!!

*I can ride it!! (It's been at least 17 years.)

Things to Celebrate this Week:

*The taxes are done.
*After days of searching, the internet remote for the t.v. was found in the Lego box. At 6 a.m.
*Pinewood car has met the weight requirement and we can no longer work on it.
*The Pinewood Derby will be over with tomorrow.
*Moments of silence.

Grouchy

I'm grouchy today.

Grouchy that the house is a mess.
Grouchy because I am going to be the one who has to clean it.
Grouchy that no matter how much time she has, Madison will not get ready for school on time.
Grouchy Grouchy because I'm extremely unhappy about what will be happening in the month of May. (Ask me in person and I'll explain)
Grouchy because of hormones.
Grouchy.

At least I have this: 

(*and yes, I let him go like this when we went to take a late Madison to school)

And this:

"Once upon a time a cowgirl had a fast horse. She livd whith her mom and dad and her crazy dog in the whest. One day a stranger followde a path to her house. He askted her to go with him. She rilly dident want to go bot he said if she dident he wod shoot her. Her mom and dad herd him so thay ran out and got thare guns in thare hands. He was about to shoot her but her dad got in front of her and said do not shoot my doter. The next day it was her birthay he came back and ges what she said she said she wants to marry him they livd happy ever after. The Eend."  (Madison)

Scary Stories

1. A few weeks ago I was getting in my car at the Walmart parking lot when I noticed the car parked in front of me had two men sitting in the front seat. When I saw one of the men pointing out at me I hurried to get in my car and locked the doors. One of the guys came and knocked on my window. I asked him what he wanted through the glass. He asked me to open my door, I said, "What do you need?" He told me that their car was dead and they needed a jump. I explained (through the glass) that I didn't have jumper cables. He said they did and asked me to get out. I have heard too many bad stories that started this way, so I said, "no" and told him I needed to leave to pick up my son. Who knows, maybe I turned down an opportunity to help someone, but I didn't feel safe.

2. Today I left the elementary school and a silver car with a sun-roof pulled out behind me. I didn't think anything of it until it made the same 3 turns I did. I turned onto a road that turns back onto the road I was already on, the car followed. I thought that was strange, and the car continued to follow me very closely as I continued to turn on roads leading back to my house. I started to think maybe the car was following me, so I drove past my road and turned onto a different road. He followed. My body started to literally shake as I realized that this man was following me. For probably 5-10 minutes I was turning onto every road, speeding, trying to follow the advice given on "Burn Notice" (kind of funny now) for how to lose someone. I went 45 mi/hr on 30/hr neighborhood roads, turning as often as I could. Finally, I could not see the car behind me, so I drove out to a main road, and the guy drove past me and looked right at me and smiled. Then he turned at the next opportunity and got behind me. I finally went to a public parking spot, and I didn't see him anymore. The boys and I went into a small restaurant for lunch and I kept looking out the window, hoping not to see this silver car. I called Joe and he asked my why I didn't call the police; I explained that I felt like a paranoid girl calling the police to say someone was following me--but I KNOW without a doubt that he was. I did finally call the police so that they could make a note of it in case I see the guy or his car again. I hurried in the house and locked all the doors, shut and locked all the windows. I'm nervous to let the kids play outside today. I never drove by the house, but that guy followed me all over the neighborhoods around here--what if he comes back to look for our van? We haven't been parking in the garage because there are too many bikes/scooters/ toys. . . but maybe we will have to figure out a way to park in there. 

Who knows--maybe the guy saw our BYU license plate and wanted to ask me about being a Mormon. . . but I tell you what, I am still shaking, and it's been almost 2 hours.

On the way home from the police station a silver car with a sunroof was behind me, and I started worrying that somehow he was still following me--even from the police station. 

Someone knocked on the door after we got home--probably some salesperson--but I took the boys in our upstairs closet and shut all the doors in-between, hoping the people outside couldn't hear our noise. 

This is no way to live. 

I need to invest in some Mace or self-defense classes. 

On a Break

Dear Facebook,

It's not you, it's me. I like you too much, and it's time to step back and reevaluate. You are great, really. I love hearing from friends and seeing pictures of their babies. I enjoy talking with the women in the Quad 4 group--we support and help each other. I like the convenience of sending messages to groups of people--you can't have group conversations with email. At least not so easily. You even support my religion by letting me share (and find) clips and talks I find inspiring.  It is fun to celebrate successes with friends, and sometimes I learn about friends who are hurting and in need of support.

But it's time for me to let go. I need to actually celebrate and help people. I should be helping kids with homework instead of straining my eyes on the phone while sitting next to them. One day I spent hours with you arguing, defending mothers who work at home instead of actually getting my work done. If I had to define a breaking point, that was it. I have also been thinking of me. I need time to be me, to figure out me, to do the things I've always wanted to do.

I still want to be friends, but give me a while.

Thanks for understanding.

Love,
Jenn

*You can always find me here. Leave a comment, send me an email, call me on the phone.

Quarterly Review

Can you believe that we're already 1/4 of the way through 2012? No way! It's getting hot in Dallas, and while I don't want to wish my time away, I am not so excited about the next 3 months' weather.

I recently read a book by Linda Eyre called "A Joyful Mother of Children." I think I must have needed some lifting up, because I went on a search for books about motherhood and women in general. I love being a mom, but it can be very demanding and wearing with few breaks. Another book I got (same author) is called "I Didn't Plan to Be a Witch." Can you tell what I think I need to work on? LOL. Anyway, one concept I really appreciated was that she talks about how hard it is to cut wood with a dull saw--instead of spending so much time ineffectively cutting we should take a few minutes to sharpen it so that the work is better and more efficient--now relate to being a mom (or to anything you do). So I've been pondering my New Year's goals, how I've been doing, and thinking about the things I would like to start doing or doing differently.

• I got  Logan and Madison signed up for soccer (Check)
• Still working on the preschool for Grant (hopefully will know by the end of the week)
• Pretty consistent at giving Joe a kissaroo when he gets home from work.
• Piano lessons. . . definitely more consistent than previously, but could do better. My goal is once a week, it's been more like twice a month. 

I had some other goals written down(optimism, gratitude, and serviceable) but those are less check-offable, and traits that I am constantly striving to achieve. I still have a long ways to go. :)

Some things to sharpen my saw:

• Exercise for 40 min 4 days a week. (My goals is to do this during nap-time. Some weeks I keep up, some weeks not so good.)
• Be in a book club. (I actually started one this month and we have it scheduled through Dec. Yay!)
• Write an old-fashioned letter each week. (Molly--you are first on my list.) 
• Go to bed earlier. (I am pretty sure the best thing I can do for my family and for myself, but SO hard to do!)
• Learn to play Claire de Lune. 

Yeah, there are many more areas of improvement, but this will be enough to work on for now. :) 

The week

This week has had especially good comments, some of which included:

"Wow, you're busy, aren't you." (hear that one a lot)

"Did you buy all the strawberries in the store?" (bought 25 lbs to make jam)

"Are you done having kids? You should stop. They are so expensive." (who says that out loud?)


*************************************

Also, this week has been crazy. Every single night has been filled with meetings and activities and practices and fulfilling of church callings. I seriously cannot remember my house ever being this messy. It's exhausting. "Everyone" says this is easy, and my life will be chaos when I have teenagers. CAN"T WAIT! I'm going to crawl in a hole.
***fast-forward 48 hours to a better mood, and now I'm thinking, "Bring it on! I've got this!" Well, at least for today. 

*************************************

Grant just came and told me that "we have a mean baby." Together we look at Ammon, and Ammon just smiles sweetly.

Broken Promise(s)

A long time ago my mom and I went to visit a family with a bunch of boys. I remember looking at the grimy walls and finger-printed t.v. and promising myself that my house would never display such artwork.

Today while wiping off blackened doors and walls, I realized that I broke that promise.

Here are a *few* other promises that I have broken:

• My children will not have dirty faces (how hard can it be to just wipe it off?).
• My children will never have snotty noses (read above).
• My children will not have temper tantrums in public (bad parenting).
• My children will be trained to not touch my breakable things (very teachable).
• My children will clean up their mess before making a new one (again, teachable).
• My children will always listen the first time (good parenting).
• I will be the parent who remembers what it is like to be a kid (how can you forget?).
• I will be the parent who is endlessly patient and loving (good parenting=good kids).
• I will be the parent who always has a clean home (good parenting=clean, helpful kids).
• I will be the parent who always has fabulous meals planned for each day of the week (what else do you do if you stay home all day?).

Failure or Perspective?

12 Year-Old Me Meets 30 Year-Old Me

*Please note that if you were involved in one of these stories, I am not writing about you and am not attacking in anyway. This is simply about me growing up and figuring out who I am. 

Scholastic Book Fair, Sugar Grove Elementary 199(3?):

I am in love with the Sweet Valley Twins Book series, and they are selling one at the book fair. The book is $1.99. I can't decide if I am going to spend my hard-earned allowance on this book, and while discussing it with a friend, she says something like, "It's only $2. What's the big deal?" Boy do I feel dumb. A few days later I try to convince a different friend to spend her money on the book by saying, "It's only $2--what's the big deal? You should get it." She replies, "Yeah, but it's my $2, and I'm saving it for something else." Why didn't I say that?

Fast-forward 18 years:


I am eating with some beautiful and talented friends and we are discussing Valentine's Day. They are throwing out complicated (to me) Valentine's cards ideas. The conversation is roughly as follows:

me: Are you doing that for her teacher? (I never thought about doing a special Valentine for the teacher.)


friend(s): No, I (we) make our Valentines.

me: You don't just buy the ones from WalMart for $2?

friend(s): No, they come home and I throw all those away.

me: Yeah, I LOVE that!!!

friend(s): (something about making them cute and personal.)

me: Yeah, Madison put some silly bands in hers and Logan got Star Wars cards that change pictures. They love 'em, and we did them all last night while we watched a movie. It took 30 minutes.


I'm not fancy or complicated and I hate stressing over things (like planning birthday parties). I'm not gonna' lie. . . sometimes I feel guilty about this personality flaw. But I feel like I'm finally coming to terms with who I am. And I'm okay if other people know I'd rather buy already made cards at WalMart than spend my time making some. We are all awesome in different ways, and that isn't one of my ways of being awesome. I think I'd even be ok telling someone that I didn't want to spend $2 on a book. Being 30 is wonderful. 


A more normal face (which, by the way, Joe says must mean I am confident if I can put that crazy picture out for the public to see. lol, that's one way to look at it. :) 

Thinking Thursday, and something truly frightful (but downright funny)

1. My brother Brent just got his mission call to somewhere is Brazil (never heard of the mission and can't remember what it is). 

2. Last night I put a pound of spinach in the lasagna. I was either finding a good way to get my kids to eat spinach, OR, I was ruining an entire pan of lasagna. Even Joe said it was good, so that means I have another way to hide veggies. Actually, my kids love veggies, just not spinach.

3. Signed the kids up for soccer, which means the next 10 weeks are booked--specifically Saturdays. After paying a good amount of money to register and to buy shoes, shin guards, socks, balls, and some sportsy clothes, I think we are good to go. Madi had her first practice Tues (I think she's going to do well) and Logan's is tonight.

4. Ammon is almost one!! He wants so badly to be a big kid (see pic below). He's close to walking, and he just figured out (not mastered) how to get down the stairs. In all fairness, he rarely wants to get down, but always wants to get up. 

4a. We've encouraged something naughty. . . when we say "no" he smiles and starts shaking his head. It's pretty cute, so we let him get away with telling us "no" and laugh instead. I see trouble in our future.

5. Grant and I have been working each morning on our letters and numbers. I know a lot of your children the same age already know these things--but he's baby number three, which means he is interested in other things, I have other things going on, and quite honestly I'm not overly worried about it--he's going to be in school for the next 13+ years of his life! OK, so I actually feel like a bad mom that he hasn't quite mastered writing his first name (among other things). But you know what? Logan knew all of his letters and numbers before Madison was born (at 21 months, so there). Anyway, my point is that Grant and I finally have time together to play games and learn, it is going well, and we are having fun. 

6. Since Joe started teaching seminary, he has been getting up at 4:30 a.m., which means I wake up at 4:30 a.m. (not to be confused with getting up). We don't go to bed early enough to avoid being tired during the day. But on Tuesday we went to bed at 9:00 and I didn't need a nap the next day! I'm actually considering getting up early and doing something constructive in the morning. It really would require getting to bed earlier, which is hard because when the kids go to bed I feel like I'm finally free. 

7. Truly frightening but funny at the same time: Madison took this picture a while ago (my crazy face). I laughed so hard when I saw it, and I have been debating whether or not I should show anyone. Because come on, it's FUNNY! But it's also kind of embarrassing. So I don't know how long I will leave this on here, and if you see it, please don't think any less of me, just laugh.

The Nice Lady

You know I'm not talking about me.

A few weeks ago I made a last-ditch effort to inspire the kids to make their beds and keep their rooms clean--for a whole week.

Bribery.

The winner got a date with me to a destination of his or her choice.

Logan won hands-down and he chose the bookstore.

In our family the bookstore means Half-Priced-Books because we are too cheap to buy books at full-price (especially when you can check them out and return them (no storage!) for free to the library).

So we went and I gave him a $5 budget.

While he was agonizing over $25 worth of books a nice lady (if I tell you her race am I racist?) asked me discreetly if she could buy one of his books for him "because she is so happy to see a boy who loves to read and wants him to be able to get the books he wants." At first I felt a little embarrassed. . . I mean, $5 was the budget, I wasn't trying to discourage reading. But then I realized she was trying to be nice, so she gave Logan $3 to cover an extra book, and he told her thank-you. In the moment I said, "What do you say?" and she said, "He said thank-you," and Logan said, "Thank you," again. I felt kind of bad about that.

On the way home from our date I told Logan I would either take him to get a root beer float or we could get supplies for root beer floats and share with everyone at home. He chose to share with everyone at home, and I thought that was pretty cool.

That was two weeks ago.

Today they asked me who was winning for the week. I explained that the offer had expired, but in case you are wondering, it's a tie. . . for messiest room.

Goodbyes are so hard to say. . . unless it takes three years.

We've been holding our breath on this announcement, but it's finally safe to say: our Cleveland house has sold!

Three years and three offers later. . . I'd say it's about time.

I won't even tell you what it sold for because you might want to cry. I've already spent my crying-time, so I'm mostly just feeling thankful.

This house represents a lot for me: a new job--our first REAL job, our first home purchase, a baby born, a lost job, a few months as a "single" mom while Joe forged the way for us in Texas, 14 or so birthdays, 3 Christmas's, friends and family visiting.

I loved the wood floors, the flowers that bloomed each season, the sun-lit walls, and Grant's method of getting downstairs. I love the memories we made and the friendships that were built.

Getting rid of it represents a lot for me now: a new start, a better life-style, a job that we have more control over, moving from a small, old house to one that is new (2001!) and monstrous in comparison.

We've learned a lot, and we've grown in so many ways that I can't even explain. I think I can sincerely say I'm glad we had this experience, but I am thankful that now we can let it go.

Goodbye house!

Random from the week

Finally set up the trampoline. = Many hours of play, exercise, and fun.

*note* the neighbor's are not allowed to jump on it (their parents' rule, not ours). I guess that might not be such a bad thing.

Grant dumped an entire tube of blue paint on the carpet floor. Luckily it was (mostly) water-soluble. I have been scrubbing for days to get it out, but when it dries it comes back up to the surface and I scrub some more. 

*note* the best part about this is that he also got the paint all over his face. He looks smurfish. 

Found some decent curtains at Target on super clearance at $6 a panel. Also found curtain rod at Lowe's for $4. Not exactly my favorite of either, but as we are in a hopefully non-permanent rental home, they will do.

*note* the curtain rod is a few inches too short. We only hung them up on one window because I can't decide whether or not I like it better with curtains or bare. All I have right now is a pathetic camera-phone picture, or I'd get your opinion.

A little bit of TMI: Now that Ammon is nearing his first birthday, Aunt Flo has returned.

*note*awful awful awful. Why do women have to go through so much crap? Seriously.

And that about sums up this week at the McGregor's. 

TV or not TV

As I mentioned a few posts ago, we got a bigger than 15" T.V.

This has been a much debated topic in our house because I LOVE not watching television.


I grew up in the middle of nowhere Pennsylvania, and the only television we watched was a very fuzzy channel 12. Instead I read up in my tree, read in the fields, walked in the woods, and did lots and lots of work around the farm. OK, so maybe I was supposed to do lots of work, but I whined so much that I probably didn't do as much as I think I did. And I should probably note that I did not think it was cool at the time to not watch all the shows my peers were watching.

My point is: I hate the noise of the TV. I hate the time wasted in front of the TV. I think that kids should be outside running around and playing with their friends, reading books, doing art, or playing an instrument. Something constructive and healthy.

But. . . when we do family movie nights, it was kind of annoying that we couldn't see the movie without squinting. And my parents surprised us with a Wii for Christmas--and while I think that could also be a time-waster, I am actually excited about the interaction and exercise it could potentially provide. And then there's General Conference. And wouldn't it be nice to maybe someday invite friends over to watch a movie?

So we got one.

Then came the issue of trying to figure out where to put it. At first I wanted it go upstairs in the play area so that my living area could remain distraction-free. But there isn't enough seating upstairs for everyone to enjoy the movie. Plus it's a pain to drag all of the food and dishes upstairs on pizza night. But the main reason I considered putting the t.v. in the main living area is that it is the room that is most likely to be clean and fresh and relaxing (despite what Madison is telling everyone). And let's face it, if I am going to cuddle up and watch a movie, I want it to be in a nice atmosphere--and sometimes the play area is not that place (unless, of course, I want to spend 30 minutes cleaning it, which I don't want to do after the kids are in bed).

The final decision: TV in the downstairs living area.

This presented its own problems, which included several different furniture arrangements. I couldn't win it all, and after Joe kindly moved the piano all over the living room for arrangement experiments, it is now blocking the fire place, which I guess is ok because we don't even use the fire place, but it is a little sad to me anyway.

We do not have cable or satellite, which I am hoping stays that way forever regardless of whether or not we ever have money to pay for it.

I think we've turned it on for one movie night (which I wasn't there for because my dear husband surprised me with a babysitter and took me out on a date!), for a few you-tube videos (check out "cello wars", and some "just dance" and "wii sports." I'm not totally convinced, but so far so good.

On new year's resolutions

Before I say anything else, you should know that I am typing this on my iPhone in a parking lot facing a lake while I wait for the time in between Logan and Madison's first semester award assembly. Ammon is snoring in his carseat and Grant went to work with dad today (because he has been asking for a while and dad told him that Friday (today) he could go).

Let me tell you, I have had a battle going on inside of me because I can think of 101 things I could be doing with only one small child in tow . . . cleaning a house still suffering from Christmas break or going shopping are my top choices. But I keep reminding myself that I am a SAHM (stay at home mom) so that I can go to all of these things for my children, and in the long run it is better time spent.

The SAHM conversation has been going on in my head a lot lately. I feel like our generation is fairly supportive of SAHMs, but I still find I'm defending myself often. Not long ago I was having a conversation about how we didn't get a second car until we'd been married for 6 years and we were in Ohio, expecting baby #3. This person, someone I love very much, said something like, "yeah, but you didn't have a job to get to." That really stung-- and I said something like, "I did have a job, and I was stranded at home alone with 2 little kids, and it was very difficult."

Anyway, I've been so busy that I haven't had time to think of who I wanted to be this next year. It's so easy to see your own weaknesses but everyone else's strengths. This can really get a person down sometimes! Some things I want to make sure happen this year are:

Be more dilligent at teaching the kids piano;

Get Logan and Madison signed up for a sport;

Get Grant signed up for preschool;

Spend my time more wisely;

Be a more optimistic person, and have more spontaneous fun with the family;

Greet Joe with a smile and a kiss each day when he walks in the door;

Buy Joe the camera of his dreams; dear Joe, I was rereading this, thinking that some stuff (especially punctuation) was different, and now I know why. I wish you many nice dreams; maybe you can subconsciously alter them to include that camera. ; ). 

Be filled with gratitude and a desire to help others;

Come what may, and love every single minute; and

Find peace with who I am while striving to be better.

Identity Crises

Some of you may or may not be surprised to know that I began my college career as an Interior Design major. This was no easy feat. I applied LATE to the 3-year program at Ricks College (then a 2 year college, now you might know it as BYU-Idaho). That's right, I applied late to a program that only accepted 25 students a year, and I got in. I'm pretty proud of this.

I lasted two semesters before I chickened out and went to China to teach English and came back knowing that my true passion was reading and writing.

"What can you learn in 2 semesters?" you ask. Well, I learned how to draft on a drafting table (and all that it entails--rules, dimensions, arrangements, blueprinting, etc), how to use a light table, how to make layout boards, and I studied different types of architecture and design, fabrics and textures.

"Why did you quit?" you ask. I was pretty good at it, if I do say so myself. But it took a LOT of time. The Ricks curfew at that time was 11:00 during the week and 12:00 a.m. on the weekends. The buildings closed at 10:00 (I think). But the people in my program had a special pass saying that we did not have to obey that curfew and that we could stay in our building all hours of the night. I stayed up working on projects all hours of the day on too many occasions to count. I kid you not. All my roommates were dating and playing and having fun. I hated college and was an emotional wreck. I got permission to take a break from the program to go to China and decided a year later that I would be a happier person if I did something else.

If you came to my house now you might think that either it was a good thing I decided to do something else or that maybe I should have stuck with it and gotten some fashion sense.

Here comes the identity crises part of my thinking. It's Christmas time and we've got our little decorations up. Nothing special, but I think they are cute. And then I start seeing all these trees and decorations that look like they belong in a fancy department store and I start thinking I need to borrow their style.

Then I get home and start looking at what I have. . . mostly hand-me-down decorations and things the kids have made. Many of them are things my grandmother had and made and passed down to me. And what I have bought definitely does not look department-store style. So I start thinking obviously this is what I like. And it means something to me. So I just need to go with it and stop trying to be someone else. 


So I started looking on-line for things that might by my style. And here's the thing:

It completely took me by surprise.

I think I have become a vintage/country/nostalgic/shabby chic style of decor girl.

I'll tell you why this is borderline shocking. When I was taking Interior Design classes, that was the style I least liked. My roommates would tease me because I swore that raffia would be forever banned at my house. Back then I loved the clean, sparse, modern look. I went to China and bought all this Chinese art and thought that someday everything in my house would be Asian-looking (it mostly still is because that is what I have, and I do like it still). I disliked the old-looking stlyes because I grew up in a 100+ year old home in the middle of the country and I wanted to get as far away from that look as possible.

Yet here I am, embracing it.

Now for my scientific reasoning. About 6-7 years ago I started to be infatuated with the Dust Bowl and  WWII eras (especially the home-front aspects). I read everything (non-fiction and fiction) I could get my hands on that had to do with the 1930's-1950's. I've researched fashion, music, furniture, and cars. Call me crazy, but something about that time period is romantic to me.

Another thought I've had is that modern-simple decor kind of dictates that you go with form and function, meaning that you only have things that are beautiful and serve a purpose. You don't just have stuff to have it and display, if that makes sense. So in this way, the two styles of decor are similar to me. The things I have (specifically Christmas decor) retain meaning and purpose for me.

Maybe I am gaining appreciation for my childhood home.

The stockings are like the ones we had growing up, the bear on the right is something my grandmother sent (looks old), the sleigh on the left was given to us, and the jar of ball-ornaments were just extras I had and dropped into a glass vase. My favorite thing on the fire-mantel is a little man sledding--I think it was my great-grandmother's, so pretty old and possibly from another country. There is a hand-written price on the bottom. The pail on the right filled with stuffed Christmas animals (she made?) was also passed down from my grandmother. It looks hand-painted.

The angel on top was another item passed down from my grandma. I think she made it, too. After I decided what my tree-style was I looked up pictures on-line and had the kids make gingerbread and orange ornaments to help it look like it was the style I was going for. :) The angels were given to us by my grandfather Goss shortly before he passed away. 

My grandma made this Nativity set, and it is the one we used to do the Christmas Eve nativity when I was little. The mouse was also passed down to us. 

I have so many thoughts swirling around in my head, but I think I covered the basics. So we aren't fancy, and our decor is eclectic and simple. But I will embrace it.

Getting Ready

I just put the kids in bed and am getting ready to finish the cleaning before Joe picks up my parents and grandma from the airport. I'm listening to Christmas music and thinking. I don't get a lot of time to do that. 

So for memory's sake, here are some of those thoughts:

I can't wait for everyone to get here and to start celebrating. Fun fun fun!

We are SO blessed. Sometimes I complain, and sometimes I can only see the green grass on the other side.

But: I have a good husband. I have four beautiful, healthy, smart, good children. I grew up in a good house with wonderful parents and I got a good education. I am able to stay home and play with the kids. Joe's work is going well. We live in a great house with modern conveniences that could not have even been dreamed about 100 years ago. I have the gospel and know and understand my purpose in life. We are about to celebrate our Savior's birth and life, and I am SO grateful for His atonement. 

Life is really great. 

While the Family Sleeps

I woke up this morning--well actually Ammon woke me up this morning--at 4:30 a.m. Joe brought him in for me to nurse, and instead of falling back to sleep it was a total "Oh my heck it's almost Thanksgiving, which means it's almost Christmas which means that it's almost the New Year and I have not done everything I wanted to get done!

So I sent off some emails and wrote some lists and I'm starting to feel tired again. I don't know if I will be able to sleep with this racing mind, though. Which means that today I might be tired and less able to actually cross thing off of those lists. 

The house is incredibly quiet. And dark. If I had gone to bed a little earlier last night then 5 a.m. might be a really nice time to get up and get things done and have some alone time. Also if it wasn't Saturday. 

Youth Dances

Going to them as an adult is not the same as going to them as a teenager.

I'm wiped out.