2 weeks

8 lbs 9 oz--not quite up to his birth weight, but he isn't quite so....bendy....so it's crazy to think that he was bigger than this when he came out of my belly. 

He is pretty consistent about eating every 2-3 hours, then he is awake for about an hour, and then he's back to sleep again! He usually wakes up twice to eat at night, and he has been getting better about going back to sleep--but it's still exhausting. My good husband lets me sleep in while he gets the kids ready for school. He has also been working from home and picking the kids up every day from school, so I am almost always able to take a nap during the day.  Love that man! 

I'm not sure if I am excited about school ending in 2 weeks or overwhelmed at the thought of having FIVE kids home with me all day, every day. Crazy!! 

Those lips! 

one week

Here's to perfection. He is such a sweet baby. I want to stare at him and smell him and hold him and take pictures of him all day long. 

He takes wonderful naps and he sleeps ok during the night (this is not to say that we are used to getting up with a baby, only that he doesn't scream inconsolably all night like one of our other kids did). 

He chews on his fist, takes a pacifier, and eats like a champ (once he latches on--there's definitely a learning curve). He loves to be swaddled tight like a burrito. If he starts crying (and I know he's been fed and changed) we wrap him up tight, give him a pacifier, and he sleeps for....until I wake him up to eat (except at night...he somehow manages to wake himself up every 3 hours at night). 

He doesn't seem to mind the after-school noise level in our home or the kids constantly in his face (it drives me crazy though) or being smooshed together as they try to figure out how to hold a brand new baby. 

He's everyone's favorite, and that's ok. 

I always feel bittersweet when a baby is born. I miss the kicking and stretching life in my belly, but Yay! I have my body back! Oh wait, nothing fits and the hard baby belly has turned to mush. Yay!--I can bend over! But...it was kinda' nice when everyone rushed over to help the pregnant woman. 

Hardest of all is the realization that this time in our life is coming to a close. When Logan was born I wondered why we wouldn't have as many as we could--and he was my crier! Joe says he'll take as many as I'll give him. But the reality is that I feel like I'm at my limit! (Ok, truthfully don't we feel like that at 1, then 2, and so on--and somehow we stretch to become more than we ever thought we could be.) 

There are the regrets. I didn't take enough pictures. I wish I had insisted that they not use pitocin. Things like that. 

But this is our story, and I can't go back, so we'll embrace the story and take more pictures. It's silly to spend my seconds thinking about what I would do differently--and yet, I have some kind of regret for every birth story (and after five you'd think I'd have it figured out). 

Really, though, we are all doing marvelously. After 5 kids, I can truly say that I know a little bit more about newborns, and that makes the transition a million times easier. (Knock on wood.) Also, having older kids who are pretty self-sufficient and also great helpers makes a huge difference. 

Of course, one of our favorite topics of conversation these days is who August looks most like and how he compares to each of the kids at this age. (I'm posting pictures below. Who do you think?) Of course this meant that we needed to pull the baby pictures out. The kids love looking at them and hearing all their baby stories. 

Logan cried a lot and never slept. New mom or cranky baby? 

Madi slept all night from day 1, but getting her to sleep was a nightmare. She also pooped a lot. All over everyone. 

Grant whimpered, and 2 yr old Madi dropped him while trying to console him (I was in the basement switching laundry). 

Ammon was delightful as well. 

August on his first day home. Also, as is customary, August peed on Dad during his (Joe's) first diaper change. The kids just happened to be at the hospital to witness it, and we (minus Joe) laughed and laughed.

Getting ready to leave the hospital. Seriously, he's gorgeous. 

August, today. (Ok, so the month/name thing might get confusing.)

Ammon 

Grant 

Madi (this is like 12 hrs after birth. So. Perfect. Also the only baby picture I have of her on Facebook). 

Logan (his pictures are all old-school pre-digital, pre-Facebook pictures). He was pretty beat up from a traumatic forceps birth. 

Everytime we looked through one child's pictures we'd say August looks just like that child. After making it through all four kids--we have come to the conclusion that they all look very similar. Siblings. Go figure! 

August Benjamin McGregor

part one 

I woke up around 2:00 am Tuesday morning having contractions that were about 7 minutes apart. I watched the clock for about an hour and decided that if I was going to have a baby I better get the laundry done. 

So I got up, did some laundry, tidied up the house, took a shower, and went back to bed. When Joe's alarm went off and I told him my sob contraction story he let me stay in bed while he got the kids up and ready for school. He even made pancakes--which I didn't eat, because I had a dr appt that morning, and he suggested that he, Ammon, and I go out for breakfast. By this time the contractions had slowed down to a few an hour (sad face). So we went out for breakfast and then I went to my appt. while he and Ammon watched a movie in the van. 

I explained my previous night to my OB and told her, "Those contractions better have been working because they ruined my night!" Sure enough, I was dilated to a 3 and 70% effaced. Yay! Progress! While she was checking me she said she was going to give me an "aggressive exam." Ok! 

The contractions started up again almost immediately and lasted the entire day. I called Joe around 1:00 pm and told

him I was packing my bag, taking a pregnant "speed" walk with Ammon, and that he should probably come home soon in case things got more intense. 

He picked up the kids and came home, but when it was about 3:30 we decided that it was too late to hope for a baby that day--it would be more convenient to wait until the next morning. Joe told me to take a nap (hoping that would slow down or stop the contractions) so I napped on and off for a few hours while he worked and made dinner (what a good man I have!). 

The contractions were still about 7 minutes apart but they were getting stonger, so I started texting our neighbor to make plans with her in case she needed to stay with the kids in the middle of the night. 

Around 10:30 I decided to take a shower and get ready for bed. My contractions were about 5-6 min by then, and I was pretty sure we were going to need to make a trip to the hospital. 

While showering, my contractions seemed right on top of each other. When I got out to time them they were about 2-3 minutes apart. I threw on some clothes, called my neighbor, and told Joe we better go! 

We arrived at the hospital around midnight, got checked in, and the whole time I was worried that they were going to send me home; my water has broken 3 times and I've never experienced spontaneous labor! By that point I had bloody show, was dilated between a 5-6 and fully effaced, and my contractions were between 4-5 minutes apart. They told me I was staying. Whew! 

Around 3:00 am I was only at a 6 so they told me they were going to start pitocin so that we could speed up the labor. I had previously warned my dr that my body reacted very quickly to pitocin. I explained it again to the nurse and she said that every pregnancy was different and that they'd start me on the slowest amount and check me in a few hours. At this point I was thinking, "Hmm. I don't think it will take that long." I need to be more assertive!! I know my body and my experiences--why don't people believe me?! 

About 15 minutes later the nurse rushed into the room, shut off the pitocin, rolled me onto my side, and put an oxygen mask on me. I was a little alarmed! I have never needed oxygen during labor! She said that my blood pressure was too low (I was feeling light-headed and dizzy) and the baby's heart rate was too low. I explained to her that the epidural wasn't working and she asked me to stop pushing the epidural button because she thought that might be affecting my blood pressure. 

I told her I felt a lot of perennial pressure and right then my water broke. I hate to call Joe out here, but he had been sleeping through all of this, so I called out to him to wake up!!! 

She decided to check me then, and of course I was dilated to a 10 and the baby was crowning. (It took less than 20 minutes of pitocin to take me from a 6 to a 10. People should listen to me!) She tried very hard not to show panic, but she started calling for back up nurses and NICU because there was meconium in my water and they were not ready for the baby. They assured me that although my dr might not make it in time, they had delivered plenty of babies. I was told to not push. 

Thank goodness for that epidural! 

My dr arrived about 10 minutes later and after 4-5 pushes little August was born at 4:01 am. I say little, but as I watched them pull him from my body all I could think was, "How did that fit into my body!!" 

He was 8 lbs 12 oz and 21" of perfection. More hair than Logan and Grant, but less than Madi and Ammon.  His face is round like Madison's was, but he looks like Grant to me. 

His birth was a little traumatic for him--he swallowed A LOT of poop! They spent a good amount of time trying to suction it out so that he could breathe. He descended through my body in about 20 minutes--much faster than he was supposed to! For the last 24 hours they have been monitoring his blood sugar  (he failed only once) and oxygen levels, but he is looking and sounding great now, and we are ready to go home tomorrow! 

To remember to write about:

*hospital stay

*sibling visit

*24 hr old Auggie

*thoughts and feelings

*namesake

thoughts

Every day I wake up and think, "Today could be the day!" And then I go to bed and think, "Welp, I'm still here. Tonight?"

Every time my tummy cramps and tightens I wonder if it's the beginning of the beginning of the end. 

I'm dilated at a 1. (Those cramps aren't doing anything!) I have a long ways to go. My OB assures me that it could happen any time--and that it will most likely happen quickly. 

I'm still here. I'm still crossing things off of my to-do list. I cut all the boys' hair this morning. I zoomed through their thick hair--maybe 5-10 minutes per boy, and you know what? They look pretty good. I guess that's what happens when you have a bunch of boys to practice on.  

I'm caught in the middle between wanting this baby to come--today. But then again, tomorrow would be fine, too. Because even though this big belly is getting in my way and my ankles are swollen and I feel down right miserable sometimes--I know I'm going to miss it. The movement, the belly, the experience. (The sleep, the {relative} quiet, the independence.) Am I crazy? If you ask Joe, he might say yes. I've been able to do this 5 times: what an amazing privilege. 

So I told him he needed to take a ton of pictures over the next few days because I want to have something to remind me of this body and this experience. 

If I wake up tomorrow and I go to bed tomorrow still carrying a basketball in my shirt, I will savor every single second. 

But no matter what, I will hold a baby on Thursday. (Due to size, experience, and--yes--convenience, we have decided that a womb eviction is probably in order.)  And that is both exciting and terrifying.