The Truth:
WARNING: What you are about to read may seem incredibly corny. But, because of recent conversations with friends, I feel I must share the honest truth.
OK, so here's my side of the story. Yes, sometimes I think, "Wow. Things could've really backfired. I'm so lucky..." Yes, I'm lucky to have Joe, but I didn't "get" lucky. I didn't know that Joe would finish school, AND complete a J.D. and be a hot-shot attorney. But here's what I did know.
Joe was (is) an incredibly hard worker. Not a good student (only because he had other priorities), but a hard worker. He said he was a sound engineer. But he didn't tell you that he got his job, in the middle of the semester, by going up to the sound crew while they were working and, after telling them he was interested in learning about sound, he asked if he could come and help them at a concert that night. For free. I knew that he'd always have a job doing something.
Joe was/is intelligent and fun to talk to. I knew we'd always be able to carry on some kind of conversation. And my circle of friends drastically increased because everyone loves Joe.
And this is really the reason I married him: he cooked and cleaned. This is one of those things that I sometimes think, "Whoa. I am SOO lucky." And again, I am, but really, it wasn't luck--I knew that he did those things. That's how he courted me so successfully. He'd invite me over for dinner. He'd come over and cook for my apartment. He'd help with my laundry and even iron my clothes. He washed the dishes. The list goes on and on. So I was pretty positive he'd be a great companion, a fantastic father. A helper like no other.
So you see--I didn't take a big, in-love, risk. I will take some credit for helping him find time to study. But really, I want credit for finding him and glimpsing the potential he has. And I guess he deserves some credit for being the great person he is.
This past weekend we had over some friends. I can't remember how the conversation
evolved exactly, but somewhere the women noted how their prospective husbands were lost souls when initially found. Each man lacked a sense of
responsibility and consequence (or, in other words, a woman).
Jenny was lucky to find me (no jokes, please) in college. I didn't plan to stay there very long. My plan was to drop out of college, start a band and a record label, and make music. I had no real major. Classes were attended only when a roll needed to be signed. And I spent twice as much time working (sound engineer) than studying.
Then I met Jenny.
Suddenly, my GPA skyrocketed (I actually dropped out of a woodworking class my senior year because the teacher hinted that I might not get an "A"). I added two jobs and doubled the time spent at work, but I never spent as much time working as I did studying. I secured a highly-selective scholarship. I nailed down a major and some high-powered mentors to guide me through. I learned to figure skate.
Ok, I didn't learn to figure skate, but I did learn another language.
It's easy to see the correlation. But what I can't see is why Jenny took a chance. Honestly, I would
never allow my daughter to marry someone like me. I'm glad Jenny did, but I do have to question her sanity.