Moment of Impact

To make a long story short: lice. Not that long ago I would have been shocked to think of someone talking about this, but I guess it's like modesty when you are having a baby: you get over it.  :)

So here is the longer story, and if it makes you queasy: stop now. Also, don't think less of me or my family. I am really trusting you by putting this all out here.

We went to church on Sunday and on my way to primary we were told that some of the kids in primary had lice. Madison and I made a detour to the bathroom and a few other moms and I started pulling her braids apart looking. It didn't take long. Madison started crying before I did.

The bad news is: lice. And Joe is 10,000 miles away.

The good news is: we caught it very early. If you know anything about lice, you know that they multiply very, very quickly. I think we caught it before any of the eggs hatched, and that is very, very lucky. Also, it looks like I do not have it. 4 women in the past 3 days have checked my hair and all with the same verdict. It is almost unbelievable, but this good news has kept me on the more-sane side of things. :)

Also (and this deserves it's own paragraph), my kids are AMAZING. We left church and I immediately called my parents in PA and started sobbing on the phone about the timing of the matter. I have to admit, I was kind of hoping my mom would come and save me again. She said, "I'm sorry honey, but we have 2 state tests this week and I wish I could come to help you but I can't (she's a principal)." So the kids and I sat in Wal-Mart's parking for about 20 minutes and I said, "I need your help. I'm all alone and this is a lot of work, and I can't do it by myself."

We got home and the 3 big kids pulled off their bedding and put them on my bathroom floor. Madison emptied her dresser and closet and added to the pile. While I started working on Madison's hair Logan cleaned the upstairs and vacuumed the entire house. He took a whiney, tired Ammon and entertained him for several hours. Logan and Madison have also been helpful in switching the laundry when asked.

Luckily I had put some meatballs and marinara sauce in the crock pot, so we had an easy, fast dinner--because the last thing you want to be worrying about in the middle of this ordeal is making, feeding, and cleaning up food.

A friend came over to cut the boys' hair (I didn't even check them, and I'm sure they didn't have anything, but I just didn't even want to ever check or worry about it). After a little internal crying I decided to go ahead and have her cut Ammon's hair. We then spent a few hours going through Madison's hair, which as I mentioned, was actually (and thankfully) not too bad.

most recent "before" picture of all the kids when sending dad off to China.

Ammon's first haircut!

After picture

I keep imagining the "moment of impact." I imagine it had something to do with her long hair (that is always pulled back!) and a well-intentioned hug. Madison loves to hug, and how do you tell someone to stop hugging!! Today while we were going through her hair again she said, "Mom, I kept telling my friends that I'm not allowed to hug, but they didn't listen." So we talked.

I've done a lot of researching, and I found this quote by Patricia Heaton (mom on "Everybody Loves Raymond"): "I've learned how to pick out head lice - and I don't really mind doing it, which is scary." I can't say that I don't mind doing it, but it is what it is, and I'm not alone.

The other good news is that Joe feels terrible about not being here to help out. He wrote me a sweet email and promised to make it up to me. He also poetically said, "your feet will feel like pillows"(because I love it when he rubs my feet).

My mom, sister, and sister-in-law, and I are also planning a get-away trip to Puerto Rico. I am SO excited!

So: we're pushing through!  This has been a trial, but I feel like Heavenly Father made sure I could do it. I should mention that this didn't even compare to last year's experience with a 4-day old baby.

And if you ever get lice, call me. I know just what to do!

Wishing I still had nothing (to talk about)

So it's 12:38 a.m. Yes, you read that right: A.M.--as in the middle of the night and I should be in bed--A.M.

I'm not ready to talk about it yet.

Suffice it to say that I'm grateful that we got Ammon's pictures last week.

And I'm thankful for friends.

But I'll be glad when Joe gets back.

Because I'm done, only that's not a choice, so I'm not done, but I am.

Hint: the boys now all have almost buzz-cuts and I broke the Sabbath by going to Wal-Mart and doing 32 (I'm almost not exaggerating) loads of laundry.

Tomorrow is looking just as swell.

I've got nothing

Usually I can find something to write about each day--whether it is something funny that happened or some resurfaced memory. But I've got nothing. Has there been nothing? Am I missing things? Inspiration: gone.

Still, there is a need to write.

Today: played, cleaned, folded, watched, fixed, cooked, listened, read, talked. Did not exercise. Did not yell (as much).

What's your story?

Nothing Fabulous, Nothing Bad

I have nothing entertaining or enlightening to share, only that we are doing o.k. Sunday was brutal.  The problem: fighting kids and a tired/impatient mom. Both of those things together = unhappy family. Let's just say I was feeling very guilty by the end of the day. Luckily, we have almost another week to recover and prepare for the next one. 

I have some fantastic friends and visiting teachers in this ward, and that has made life sweet. I mentioned the surprise book drop last week, but since then: my kids were watched for a few hours on Saturday so I could attend a church meeting for women, we were invited to a yummy dinner, given a prepared FHE lesson (!), invited to go swimming, and today there was a cookie-drop off. I truly feel cared for and loved--and I think that means more than the service itself. Every time I go through an "experience" I am reminded of ways I can be more compassionate and charitable to others; this has been a good experience, and I hope I can be better at finding ways to help those in need of lifting up. 

 

Oh, and something kind of exciting: I visited a second-hand shop during Grant's speech today. I was in there for about 15 minutes and found 3 pairs of perfect-condition GAP jeans (that fit!) for $10.99. Boo-Yah! 

Quiet!!!

It's 8:03 and the house is QUIET! It's 90 degrees outside and it was field day at the elementary school. Grant and Ammon and I had a shortened nap because we went to JCPenny's this morning. Add that all together and you've got tired kids and reading time in bed. YES!

Two stories.

First: I make my bed everyday. I gave up on making the kids make their beds everyday (maybe we'll try again this summer). Grant's bed is never, never made. When Madi and Logan were four they knew how to make their beds and they were held accountable for making their beds each day. Grant could probably make a normal bed, except that he destroys his every night. Like--even the fitted sheet is pulled off each morning. Grant has the privilege of sleeping on my bed during nap time so that he doesn't wake up Ammon. As mentioned, I make my bed everyday. But yesterday I just kind of threw the covers up over the pillows and I didn't smooth it down. When he went in to take a nap he said, "Mom, I can't sleep on this! It's not made! You have to make your bed everyday or I can't fall asleep." I don't get it.

Next story: We are going to have to watch Ammon. He is a kisser. If I say, "let's change your diaper," he runs away. If I say, "it's time to get dressed," he runs away. If I say, "can I have a kiss?" He smiles big and runs over with his mouth wide open. He falls for this trick every time.

And lastly, we finally went to get Ammon's first year pictures. We got some cute ones, no thanks to him. The little stinker became shy for the first time in his life and all he wanted to do was hide his head in my chest.

If you want to see them (please do!) there is a link on my facebook page. I don't know how to attach it to the blog.

UP

I know, I know. This photo is old news, as I have already put it on facebook. But it cracks me up every time I see it, and it's been over 12 hours.

About 3 weeks ago we went on a bike ride on some dirt trails around the lake by our house. There is a mesh covering that goes over the bike trailer, but somehow a rock (supposedly) slipped through and lodged itself in Grant's eye. He screamed and cried and rubbed it all day until his eye was swollen and red. The next morning I thought time had healed it, but he continued to complain so I stuck him in a warm shower for something like 20 minutes and he said that fixed it. Ever since then he panics if we go on the dirt trails because he is nervous another rock will fly into his eye.

Grant also loves to dress up. Every day he is a different character, and if I forget his new name he is very fast to tell me, "My name's not Grant. It's {insert name}." The most common characters are Super Man, Obi Wan, and Spider Man. He has also been a ninja, a person named Kai, Darth Vader, Batman, a Pirate, and an Indian. (One of the funniest things is that Logan also loves to dress up as his character of the moment. Madison hates to dress up. I have bought her so many dress up clothes that she has never worn and grown out of. Isn't this backwards?) Anyway, yesterday Grant found these goggles in the dress up box. I think the kids all got a pair at one of the Lowe's Saturday building activities. When we got ready for our bike ride this morning he put them on and announced that they were for keeping rocks out of his eyes. I am happy to say that they worked.

This picture of him reminds me of the boy explorer on the Disney movie UP. So of course, we had to watch the movie , And, of course, I had to bawl. Every time!! The dog part is a little weird for me, and I wish they had done something different, but the couple getting old and breaking the bank is so touching--probably because I can relate. Except for the not having kids part. Obviously, we have other trials in our life.

While I watched it I thought about how almost 11 years ago Joe and I were both in China, promising ourselves that we would get back there--hopefully to live there with our own family. It hasn't happened, and the goals have kind of changed. Except that now he is there and I want SO BAD to go back! And the breaking the bank part. . . our van is 9 years old, and it has been a good van. It has been paid off for years, and it has been wonderful to not have any car payments. We have been saving money so that we could run this car to the ground and have enough for a new car--in a few years, that is. Well. . . . I took the van in to get the oil changed today, and I asked my dad about the trouble I've been having with the gears shifting, and it sounds like we might have to get a new transmission. It's time to break the car-savings bank. . . it's part of life, but definitely not how we were hoping to spend the money we've been saving for a new car. Ah well, such is life.

Today was a productive day: dropped kids off at school, went on a bike ride, went visiting teaching, went to Aldi, ate lunch with Madison in the school cafeteria. Put the boys down for a nap, played the piano, read some of my book, and had a surprise visit from my visiting teacher, who brought me a few books to keep me busy! Kids came home, we finished homework, played UNO, ate dinner (rice, chicken, and salad), and took Logan to scouts. Got the oil changed at Walmart (in record time, I should add), and bought a kiddie pool to help us to enjoy this 90 degree weather. Is there such a thing as enjoying 90 degree weather, anyway? Every time we got out of the van today Grant said, "boy it's hot today, isn't it mom?" Yes, it is hot.

And I got to talk to Joe TWICE on skype! He is safe in Shanghai and he has wireless Internet. We got to kneel down together and say a family prayer even though we are over 10,000 miles apart! It is hard to be so far away, but I'm grateful for modern technology. Also, it blows my mind that there is no facebook in China! Sometimes I wish my free-agency for facebook was taken away from me, though. But can you imagine if facebook was in China? That's like 2 BILLION more customers!

Anyway, my thoughts are getting random, now. :) Remember to look UP!

Day 2

I got a text at 4 am this morning (I was already awake because I am used to his alarm going off for seminary) from Joe saying he had finally made it to Beijing. Unfortunately the hotel he was in did not have wireless Internet, and we could not Skype as planned. He was missing me so much that he called on his cell (yikes! $$) to tell me that the time difference was killing him and that he had been showered and dressed by 5 am his time and has since been walking the streets of Beijing. He is taking the train to Shanghai this evening (except it's really tomorrow afternoon in China) and hopes that the Marriott he is staying in will have the Internet.

In  honor of Dad's safe arrival in China we ate jiao zi (potstickers), rice, and stir-fry vegetables for dinner. We then proceeded to play "just dance" where we danced "Kung fu Fighting" several times and we sang the words very loudly. Variations of the word "China" are used many times.

Day two was good, except that Grant refused to eat his Chinese dinner and after threatening him for 15 minutes I had to make good on said threats and I sent him to bed before 7:00. He missed the dancing. Ammon, who I think is teething, has been a real pill lately. After throwing a major temper tantrum because he could not hold the wii remote I gave up and put him in bed and let him cry. After listening to Madison and Logan fight about whose turn it was to choose the Just Dance song I said, "FORGET IT! Go brush your teeth!" At 7:30 I went upstairs, pulled the crying boys out of bed and began reading to them chapter two of "Romona the Pest." We were on the second page when a fight broke out between Grant and Logan about who had the Lego man first and I yelled, "I'm DONE! GET IN BED!"

Among the ordinary things that have to get done everyday, I also went on a 3.5 mile bike ride, babysat 2 cute girls, cleaned the fish tank, read a chapter of A Tale of Two Cities, took a nap, spent an hour playing the piano, and cleaned the kitchen. I appears that my plan is to stay up late deep cleaning and nap during the afternoon. A little backwards, but I do not have the motivation to clean during nap-time because I am so tired from staying up late the night before, and since the evenings are quiet and lonely--I clean until I am exhausted. I'm crazy.

So there is day 2 in a nut shell.

I am now going to go sweep and mop the kitchen and bathroom floors. Evenings are definitely the hardest part of the day.

Firsts

I received 4 bottles of nail polish, one from each child, for my birthday. I guess that means I'm going to start painting my fingernails (I do paint my toenails once in a while). So for the first time in my life (I'm pretty sure) I bought cotton balls and nail-polish remover. If you see me with poorly-painted brightly-colored nails, that is why.

*********************

Today, for the first time in my life, I said "no" when someone asked a favor from me. I feel kind of guilty, but relieved at the same time. On Sunday I decided that part of my sanity plan while Joe was gone was to keep nap time and bedtime as sacred time. So when someone asked me to babysit tonight from 5-10 p.m. I said something like, "I'm sorry, I would normally do it, but I will need the time after my kids go to bed to myself in order to keep my sanity." 

How do you say "no?" 

Communication

In my 31 years of life I have learned that good communication is the key to success.

Knowing is different than doing, as can be evidenced in this story.

As you probably know, this week was teacher appreciation week. The teachers kindly sent out suggestions of what you could do for them each day of the week. Now, I come from a family of teachers, I have a teaching degree, and I am very grateful for the teachers in my children's lives, so I had great intentions of sending something to school each day for the teachers. The first day was a drawing of the teacher doing something the student enjoyed. We had it ready the night before. The rest of the week. . . well, we fell a little behind. Each day the kids would come home saying, "We need to bring this. . . everyone is doing this. . . can we buy?"

So yesterday after school I had the kids write letters (Madi wrote a poem) to their teacher, and then as I was running out the door to the Round Table I asked Joe if he would stop at the store after picking up Logan from Scouts and grab 2 bottles of root bear, some Reese's Peanut Cups, and some strawberries for the teachers.

When I got home I saw this (sorry, no pic): two boxes of thin mints, a 2-liter bottle or A&W, a 2-liter of Sprite, gummy bears, and X-Tremely HOT Pringles. I asked for the story and Joe said, "This is what the kids picked out for their teachers." I made big eyes and said, "Oh! I thought you were going to buy the things on the list they sent." "What list?" "You know, the ones with the strawberries and Reese's?" "Oh, I just thought you wanted them to pick something out for their teachers. I kept asking Logan if he was sure that is what he wanted to send to his teacher, but he insisted (Logan had gotten the chips and gummy bears for the teacher who said she didn't like junk food)." It was totally my lack of communication, and it was already late on a Thursday night, so we went with it.

I intended to recycle a gift bag for the teachers' gifts, but I didn't have anything non-Christmas or babyish for the huge (and heavy) 2 liter of root beer, so Madison took it to school in a Walmart bag. We're cool like that.

When I picked the kids up from school I asked how their gift-giving went. Madison said her teacher didn't give her a hug because her gift wasn't good enough. Logan smiled big and said his teacher wrote him a nice note, longer than anyone else's, and it said, "Your gift is the most surprising gift I have gotten."

I laughed so hard.

Somehow my house has become the after-school neighborhood house. I'm glad. I'd much rather know what they were doing and who was watching them than let them run around the neighborhood.

Madison's soccer get-up. Glad but sad that soccer is over, and are planning on more come fall.

Logan's soccer get-up. Couldn't find his team socks, so he borrowed some of Dad's thin dress socks and put them over some regular soccer socks. Ironically, found the real soccer socks in Dad's dresser drawer the next day. Oops!

31! We went to the temple in the a.m., but forgot to take pictures until after I had changed. We stuck the camera on a book shelf and tried to get a timed-shot. This is the best we could do, unless you want to see the kissy picture. ;) 

Birthday Surprises

I know it's kind of silly, but I love birthdays. It's nice to feel special for a day. I don't just love my birthday, I love to celebrate everyone's birthday. But my birthday just happens to be on Friday, so I've been letting people know. ;)

It's funny how growing up changes things as far as birthdays go. Presents are nice, but they really come out of my own money these days, and so maybe we can call it an excuse to splurge, but in reality I don't have to wait for my birthday, and the money comes from the same place.

These days what I really want are meaningful, well-thought out gestures of love and kindness. I think my children know exactly what I want, as can be evidenced in the conversation I had with Grant yesterday:

Grant: Mom, is it going to be your birthday?
Mom: Yep! Are you going to surprise me?
Grant: Yes, I know what you want for your birthday!
Mom: You do?! What is it?
Grant: A messy house!
Mom: No, I want a clean house. Can you do that for me?
Grant: (laughs) No, but I can give you a messy house. That can be your birthday present.
Mom: How about a clean bedroom? That's easy!
Grant: (laughs)

I might be waiting for many years to get what I want for my birthday. Ah well, at least they will be years full of laughter!

*I should mention that Joe has declared it Mom's week because of my birthday and Mother's Day (and to warm me up to his trip to China, but I'll take it!). I have been spoiled and loved every day. He has been working a little bit from home, and it has been heavenly. He's been making food, cleaning, and telling me to take it easy. We've taken 30 minute bike rides in the morning, today we had a little lunch date at our own kitchen table, and a babysitter during the dinner hour while we ate hamburgers and went for a walk around the lake. I know the next 4 days will be just as wonderful. I am loving every day of Mom's week and hope it becomes a yearly tradition!

A while ago

Madison learned how to ride her bike sans training wheels. This wasn't the first attempt, but we set the date and decided it was going to happen no matter what. We thought it was going to be an ear-splitting, knee-bleeding, whine-fest of an afternoon. But to everyone's surprise--she hopped on and rode down the sidewalk. I guess it's kind of like potty-training: when they're ready, they're ready.

YAY Madison! Here's to many hundreds of hours of bike rides yet to come!

The backyard

While my family was never wealthy, we always had everything we needed, and enough room financially to take vacations and participate in some cool activities. I did not grow up in a big house, or an especially nice house. Actually, I grew up in a very, very old house with one very small bathroom, which I think I've mentioned. We got one fuzzy television station, dial-up Internet when I was a Senior in high school, and my parents didn't believe in Nintendo (they now have a satellite, high speed Internet, and a Wii; in fact, they bought us a Wii).

But we did have a lot of room. . . outside. Acres and acres (100+) of land to hike on, hide on, work on, ride on, and even a creek (it's pronounced "crick") to swim in. 

I can't say I appreciated it very much when I was growing up. I wanted a newer, fancier, bigger house. I wanted sidewalks and shopping centers. I did not want to help to shovel walkways, weed the garden, mow the yard, or feed the sheep. My parents would probably claim that I did not, in fact, do those things. :) I almost despised the 10 trips in and out of the house to bring food to (and from) the picnic table when the kitchen table seemed so much more convenient. 

Today I was watching the kids playing in our small back yard: grateful for the sidewalks, grateful for Joe's 20 minutes to mow the lawn, grateful for the playthings we have been able to provide for the children, grateful for our Craigslist patio table. Somehow, somewhere, I became the mother who appreciated and wanted my children to enjoy the outdoors; it feels wrong to be inside when the sun is shining outside! I also inconveniently drag the food and drinks outside so that we can enjoy the sounds, smells, and feelings of the outside. 

I also miss the room. The house we are living in is much more modern and roomy than the one I grew up in (2.5 baths!), but I am surprised that I miss the room and the quietude that is found in the country. 

Thank goodness for summer vacations.

Grant showing off his Jedi skills. 

Ammon loves the sandbox.

Things to do.

my little garden. crossing my fingers that my plants will stay alive in the Texas heat. 

Logan doing something with cards. 

my growing up backyard. past the deck and down a hill is the creek.  

behind the bushes on the right is a play area for the grandkids. 

my front yard growing up. see the wooded hills? *love*

Home Alone

3 summers ago Joe left for Texas while I held down the fort (and 3 kids) in OH. It was a LONG and emotional summer.

I'm having some deja vu (however you spell that).

Not that I want everyone to know that "HEY, I'm here alone!," so he'll be back tomorrow before he leaves again for. . . . longer than I'd like.

This time it's with 4 kids, but maybe with a little less stress than last time. The next trip is to China, which produces a ton of feelings: nervous for him, scared for me, more than a little envious that he'll be kid-free in a country that I LOVE (leaving me alone with the munchkids)--just a few of my feelings.

Sometimes it is easy for me to start feeling sorry for myself. I become a little kid-like. For example, a few weeks ago Logan was bemoaning his life as the "unluckiest kid in the world." I tried talking some sense into him about kids who didn't have food to eat or a place to sleep, and he said, "yeah, but they get used to that." I started thinking of single moms and how hard they must have it, and I actually thought, "maybe they get used to it." But no, I think it is always hard. At least I know it is for a short amount of time--and I still have a companion to support me and to talk with me. But it is still hard, and I don't look forward to it.

My game plan includes: hiring a babysitter at least once a week so that I can get a break--and some groceries. I get really impatient when there is absolutely no break. I also decided that I am not going to cook. I'm just not. I seriously never buy pre-made meals, but my last 2 shopping trips I started looking around for ideas of things that the kids would eat, that I wouldn't have to spend time making, and that involved very little clean up. I bought things like frozen hamburger patties, hotdogs, frozen pizzas, frozen meatballs (for spaghetti and pre-made sauce), a bag of seasoned fajita meat, pulled pork, pot stickers, sloppy joe in a can, and chili in a can. We are all going to get fat this month. :) The biggest help is that soccer ends tomorrow.

As for soccer, the kids have really improved a ton! Our family home evening on Monday night was about unity, and we went outside and played soccer as a family for a few minutes as part of our lesson. Logan is really good! And after his last practice Madison went out to play against some of the boys on his team, and she took it more seriously than I've ever seen her play--I think she was trying to show off for those boys. They have both asked if they could play again in the fall, and even though it was kind of a a big commitment, I think we are going to do it again. Am I crazy??

So what do YOU do when the days feel long and lonely? How do you stay sane and patient? Do you go to bed early or whittle the hours away?

On educating my children

The thing that sets me off faster than anything else is the idea that men are somehow better than women. People who imply that idea through their words or actions are guaranteed to receive my full-blown fury.

Madison and I happen to live in a house full of boys. I love them all dearly, but that attitude is sometimes thrown around. You can imagine my dismay when, yesterday, I heard Logan and Grant harassing Madison by giving her reasons that boys were better than girls. 

"Boys go to college to get more knowledge. Girls go to Jupiter to get more stupider."

So I sat those 3 kids down and had a chat. 

I explained that, first of all, there are more girls than boys in college. Their mother is also a girl with a college degree. Next, stupider is not a word. And finally, no person has ever been to Jupiter, but if girls are the first to go to Jupiter it will be another proof of their intelligence and capability. 

But MOST importantly: I better never hear my sons say anything that would imply that boys are better than girls. 

I'm almost certain that I haven't heard the end of it.

Logan's germ experiment. Samples taken from his mouth, the floor, and the garbage can. He wanted to keep it. I told him we'd take a picture so he could throw it away. Gag. 

Ammon, Grant, and I went to eat lunch and play with Madison at school. 

Ammon and Madi's purse.