OHHH I'm Mad!

I am SOOO mad and I am coming here to let off steam.

Long, personal, story short: our previous landlords are denying our deposit back for totally BOGUS reasons like we didn't give a 30 day notice (HELLO, they sent us a certified mail letter saying we had to be out by July 8 because they were moving back in).

I am so very happy to be out of that crappy disgusting house.

We put up with so much from those landlords, too. Like, when we moved in (and the house was absolutely disgustingly filthy--which they are now saying we didn't clean it HAH) and the heater was broken and the house was FORTY degrees inside and then it took them a MONTH to fix it. Oh yeah, and then the air conditioning and heater went out in September and they didn't fix it until December (we called a LOT).

Seriously lady? Did you know my husband is an attorney?!

Do you ever just feel so ANGRY and like someone is totally WRONG, and it affects YOU, and you can't let it GO?

What do you do? Because I don't know if there is anything I can do about it, and feeling angry isn't going to make things better. And in the long run, it doesn't really matter. . . so I'm out $1300. . . but I was going to use that money to buy my furniture!!

Life is Good

(Saying good-bye to our sturdy sleep-sofa)

Yesterday I woke up to a husband cleaning the bathrooms.

Today I am playing on the computer while he produces yummy Mexican smells in the kitchen.

Ammon is napping. Logan is reading. And Madison and Grant are playing together.

Life is good.

And after 10 years of being married I think I am actually going to buy some living room furniture.

You see, before we got married our Chinese teacher gave us this old worn out sleeper-sofa. It was a great blessing and served us very well for many years. Every time we move we've promised ourselves that we were NOT going to take that heavy thing with us. And every time we moved we decided that we were not in a good position to buy something different. Our careful frugality is what has allowed us to survive over the past few years, and that dear sleeper sofa moved with us to Provo, Ohio, and Garland, Texas. Ironically, on our shortest move ever--a mere 30 miles away--we called a friend over and took that sleeper sofa over to the tree-lawn and said goodbye.

I don't know why I decided that it was time to move on. . .while financially we are certainly doing better than we were a year ago, I know it will be some time before I feel like we are in the safe zone. But I just decided to be spontaneous and risk-taking and splurge and buy some furniture. Not exactly splurge. . . I am waiting on two expected checks to use for my budget, but it's still uncharacteristic of me to not use that money for something more responsible.

You may wonder why I am telling you all of this. It is two-fold.

First, sometimes I think about the things we have gone without--let me make it clear that we have never NEEDED anything. We have always been blessed to have what we need and much, much more. Through school and out, Joe and I have been able to provide what we needed to take care of our family. But we have a small grocery budget, I buy all of our clothes on clearance, we have a 13-inch tv (that was given to us), we do not pay for any tv services, and much of what we have is second hand (thanks Craigslist!). But we have four beautiful children, and we have decided that it is much more important to have a family and for me to be at home with them than for me to be out making money, or spending our money on fancy things like living room furniture. I am grateful for our family and wouldn't trade them for all the fancy furniture in the world. And over the years we have learned how to be frugal and responsible with our money, which I believe has been and will continue to be a great blessing to our family. But I am excited for a living room set.*

And second, I think we are going to go with leather furniture. I do not really love leather, and I never thought I would own leather. Upholstered furniture looks more inviting and comfy and I like it better. But. . . because we have four kids, I also know to expect throw-up and urine and food and all kinds of lovely stuff to get on that furniture. Not to mention jumping. Lots of jumping. (See? Even you are now thinking that the McGregors definitely need to get leather if you are ever going to go to their house.) Leather just seems like the most practical thing to do. So I've narrowed the choices down to two. . . they are both nice and fine, but I can't decide which one to do. If you have an opinion about leather furniture, and which one you like better, please share!

*Now before I go offending people, I'm not saying that everyone should make the same decisions we have, only that it was the right thing for us. And to those of you with nice furniture--I've been trying to not be envious! ;o)

As Promised

Back to school pics plus some. . .

Let's see: Grandma and Grandpa got Madi this outfit for her birthday. The shirt came with a super cute scarf that I thought we should tie in her hair, but she flat out refused, which surprised me because last year she begged me to buy her scarves. I bought her some cute sneaks, but without her, and they ended up being too big. She'll grow into them, right? So anyway, we compromised by sending her old sneaks in the backpack and wearing these adorable sandals that I would wear if they fit. I'm pretty sure she changed into the old ratty sneakers as soon as she got to school. She's persistent, I guess, and I've decided to save our fights for more important things.

I got Logan some back to school clothes, but found this snazzy cross-country shirt at a Salvation Army for $0.50. I thought it looked cool (plus I ran cross country for 6 years and haven't run a mile since). . . kind of like something from American Eagle, not that my 7-year old boy needs to be wearing stuff from American Eagle. Anyway, I bought him other new shirts, including one that had Yoda and one that had Spiderman (which I would never love, but thought he would), so I was actually really surprised that this was the outfit he chose to wear on the first day of school. He's cool like that.

And Grantee? Well he picked out his clothes too. Stripes and plaid. We didn't go anywhere today; we just stayed home and played together and cleaned up a few rooms. So I let him wear this all day. Hey--I'm cool like that (yesterday I let him wear his church pants backwards at church. OK, really I didn't notice that he'd put them on backwards until the middle of sacrament meeting and then decided to leave them. . . his teachers understand, right?!). Also, he got a little teary-eyed when Logan and Madi climbed into the back of Daddy's car, but then we went inside and life went on. . . although even I found myself thinking a few times that the house was a little too quiet.

I think everyone had a good day at school. Logan loves his teacher, Madison loves hers. Logan says second grade is "way too easy." They rode the bus home together and I called when it was taking too long to arrive to make sure that they weren't lost somewhere wondering where I was. Call me paranoid. Then I had a good long chat with the bus driver because I was MAD when she dropped the kids off on the wrong bus stop without an adult there to pick them up. . . something that the bus company reassured me (that morning) would not happen when I told them I was worried that the kids would not recognize the new neighborhood we lived in. I am lucky (and the bus company is very lucky) that I noticed 2 kids wearing bright yellow and bright pink walking in the distance. Seriously, what was that bus driver thinking? I kept trying to get them to tell me about their day, they kept asking me if they could play on the computer. The supper table conversation was a little more entertaining than usual, though. All in all, it was a good day.

I think Madi took this picture of Grant. I certainly wouldn't have taken one showing how messy her room was. But oh well. This is reality. :) The problem is that her room is too cool, and even when she's not around, all Grant wants to do is play in there. Not a good idea when Madison is in school.

And here is Madi talking on the phone. Cute girl, cute dress, although I was thinking that I should probably stop buying things for her that I would like to wear. Oh, and notice my treadmill not set up in the background. Yeah. . . working on that.

Where is Ammon? For the first time in a very long time he took two very long and much needed naps, one of which was after lunch and during Grant's naptime (which we still struggled with). I think by the end of the week I should have these boys re-trained. Yay!

Waiting for Tomorrow

Got the kids in bed at 7:49 tonight. Clothes are picked out, lunches packed. Backpacks are ready. I am ready. For the kids to go to school, that is.

Part of me is wondering where in the world the summer went. But a huge part of me is waiting for the exhale of relief when Logan and Madison walk out the door tomorrow. Is that horrible?

It really is.

Last year I was so excited for summer, and I really tried to make it a ton of fun. This summer seemed very stressful with a new baby and the unexpected packing and moving and unpacking. We still did fun things. We went to PA for 3 weeks. We went camping, the kids took swimming lessons, we played games and watched movies. But I felt like I was constantly holding my breath, trying not to get upset at the messy house, or the noise, or the fighting, or my tiredness. Sometimes I give myself the excuse that things are busy/different than usual, so it's ok. But in reality, I have today, and today is more important than any tomorrow, so I need to be the best mother (and wife) that I can be today and stop making excuses.

To be honest, Madison and Logan are REALLY GOOD kids. They are not the reason I have been so uptight this summer. The added stress has made me. . . stressed. We are almost completely unpacked, so that should help. Ammon, almost 5 months, likes attention. And he cries--like every other baby. Grant, who was used to spending quality time with mom everyday, has gotten a little out of control this summer. I am hoping that getting back to our regular schedule will help him to find better ways to communicate (think high-pitched screams, climbing out of grocery carts and running down the aisles, and getting out of bed 20 times each night). Maybe he'll start taking a nap again. Super Nanny, anyone?!

I grew up in a family of 7. We had one--you read that right--ONE bathroom. A tiny one. Anyway, my mom had a poem that hung up in the bathroom that read,

"There will be years

For cooking and cleaning,

For children grow up

While we're not looking."

I am trying to remember that, because I know it is true!! Also, my parents just dropped off my youngest brother at BYU this week, so for the first time in 30 years they are all alone. I feel sad for them! I hope they enjoy it, and I think they will. At the same time, I know that I need to enjoy and love every minute with these kids. And I do! But I think I might enjoy/love every minute more when they spend a few of those minutes at school.

I have an inner battle going on. Guilt. :)

Anyway, I am starting to really like the new area we are living in. Our new ward is really nice. . . in some ways it feels like I have been here for a while (mostly because I have already made friends), although in reality it has only been a little over a month. I have a new calling--Mia Maid counselor in the Young Women's Program. I was the Beehive counselor before, so I guess that helps me to feel like some things haven't changed. I really love working with the Young Women. Even though I am THIRTY I still feel like I have a lot in common with them and can relate to what they are feeling. I hope that we will become friends and that I can help them to grow in the gospel. It is a lot of work to come up with new activities every week. . . so in some ways I miss the old days when I just had to play the piano on Sundays. But I also really enjoy the opportunity to get away from home once a week and to do something different. Maybe my brain will rot at a slower level. ;)

Today at the dinner table Madison was talking about how excited she was for school. Then she said something like, "But if it isn't as good as I think it will be then I'm going to have a bad year." We had a good talk about how things are rarely as good as you want them to be. . . but we have a choice to complain or to be grateful. And then I asked her which one would make her happier. I needed that lesson, too. I guess you could say I complain a lot. But really I have a lot to be grateful for. And I have a choice to be happy or to complain. So Madison and I are working on complaining less and choosing to be happy more.

So anyway, there's my rant. The kids are growing up too fast. School is starting tomorrow. I have unrealistic dreams of how everything is going to be perfect starting tomorrow. Laugh with me. I'll post first day of school pictures. . . tomorrow? We'll see!

Six Girly Years Gone By

OK. . . seriously. . . aren't you just laughing at the variety of clothes my children are wearing?! It is so revealing of everyone's personalities. Logan is up bright and early and already dressed for church. Madison is wearing WINTER pajamas in the middle of summer in Texas, and Grant has on his pajama bottoms and no shirt. HAH!! I love it!

The kids spent the entire day in front of the playhouse. At least there is a boy doll and an airplane there. . .right?

(can you tell the outside is white and the inside a very light shade of purple?) Also, I don't know where the rest of the Barbie furniture is. That was fast!

Wahoo!

I should be snoozing in my bed. . . but since the only time I seem to have to myself is late at night I am creating another tired day tomorrow. Ah well. Such is life. :)

Madison turned SIX yesterday, and I couldn't help but stare at her all day and try to remember what it felt like to cradle her in my arms. I can remember getting her ready for bed and just giggling together. I can remember her reaching up to me and saying, "Pick you up! Pick you up!" She meant, of course, "pick me up!" A million little memories I can remember, but the only way I can remember what she looked at throughout the years is to look through pictures. (click here to see her 3rd b-day.) I just spent too much time looking through old photos and wondering which sibling she looks like. ? I wish I had gotten a picture of her in her church clothes; she looked so cute today! I'm so grateful for cameras!! I love having a little girl. She is spunky and spicy and oh so sweet.

This year I bought her a huge doll house from craigslist (for a steal of a deal) and painted it for her. I found some barbie furniture on sale after Christmas. I've been hanging on to her birthday presents for so long that I'm not sure how much of a surprise it really was. Still, she loves it. In fact, Logan and Grant love it too. Even Joe hasn't said anything about the boys playing Barbies with Madison.

Six things you should know about Madison:

1. Madison is our social butterfly. She gets her people skills from her daddy.

2. Madison is a girly tomboy. For example, she likes to carry around purses. . . filled with cars. I think it's a happy medium. :)

3. Madison has the longest tongue I have ever seen (but only because I can't see mine).

4. Madison loves to help. She wants to help me cook and clean and take care of baby Ammon. I need to soak it in all I can before she changes her mind.

5. Madison loves to write. I find notes all over the place. . . some that say "I love you," some that say "you made me sad today" and some that have lists of everything and anything you can think of. The day we left she hurriedly scribbled a note on a pink card and passed it through the window to Grandma and Grandpa that said, "I just wanted to say I love you." Awww!

6. Madison can be very sweet and loving. . . or downright mean. It's a glimpse of what we've got coming the next few years. What I've found, though, is that she mirrors me. . . so that's some responsibility I've got, huh?

6 1/2. Madison has the BEST conversations to eavesdrop on (is that how you say it?). A few weeks ago when we were at my parent's house she was talking to my grandma (her great-grandma) about the Star Wars movies. Some how it led to the war in heaven. Then I heard something that went like this.

Grandma: Oh, I don't like the war in heaven.

Madi: Yeah, I guess you're going to be going there pretty soon.

Grandma: Then I'll get to see my sweetheart.

Madi: What do dead people look like?

Grandma: Oh, they look like happy people who are sleeping in a pretty box.

Madi: Well, I'm sure gonna miss you.

Well I was shaking with laughter and slightly horrified, but my grandma wasn't offended and I guess it was actually a really sweet conversation about death.

I just love her to pieces. She's beautiful. But more importantly, she's smart and good and sweet and she's mine!!

Her she is doing a hand-clap with my mom. Can't figure out how to turn it, so you'll just have to turn your head!

A Summer Gone

Can you believe it? And where do I start? With a move? A trip to PA? Or today when I promised myself I would never take all four kids to Walmart (even though it was really only the three-year-old that I don't want to take shopping. ever. again.). How about how Ammon is scooting around but still not grabbing for things?

July 2: We moved. Glad that's over. Joe knocked down the brick-encrusted mailbox with the 26 ft. U-haul truck. We got to pay $200 to get that thing fixed. It'll be funny someday, right?

July 7: Joe went to pick the kids up from his parent's house and got off a turn too early. That cost him a visit from Mr. Cop and a "donation" to the state of Texas.

July 14: Joe and I celebrated 10 years of craziness. My mom flew out the day before, which meant we were able to do sealings in the temple and enjoy a short dinner together without any kids.

July 15: My mom, the kids and I began our trip out east. We stopped in Louisville and stayed with the Yearsleys. My kids keep asking when they can go back. :)

July 16: Arrived in PA!

July 19-22: We went camping at Cayuga Lake in Seneca Falls, NY. While there we kayaked, did endowments at the temple, went swimming in the lake, visited church history sites, and spent some time with the Cobbs and Christensens (friends from BYU). It was also uncomfortably and uncharacteristically hot (100 degrees and 70% humidity). I complained a lot.

July 22: Went to watch Cars 2. Cute, but over the kids' heads.

July 23: Molly and Matthew drove out to PA to visit us. The kids had a blast playing in the woods, jumping on the trampoline, and having water gun fights.

July 22-Aug 5: The kids started swimming lessons at the Brokenstraw swimming pool. 9:30 a.m.-10:15 a.m. It was pretty chilly and sometimes raining, but they went everyday!

July 26: Joe flew out to Buffalo and Ammon and I picked him up. We ended up "camping" at a state park on the Canadian/US border and were visited by Border Patrol the next morning.

July 27: Joe and I visited Niagara Falls, went on the Maid of the Mist, drove by a Frank Loyd Wright house in Buffalo, NY, and ate at the original home of the Buffalo Wing.

July 28: Joe helped to finish a pavilion that was being built in the girl's camp that is on my parents' property.

July 29: We went canoeing and had a family party, which consisted of homemade pizza, homemade ice cream, corn hole toss, hide-and-seek, water gun fights, and playing on the wii.

July 30: Joe and I took my grandmother and cousin to the Cleveland airport. By chance, we saw the Russells in the airport, and they just happened to be on the same flight my family was on! Joe and I went out for lunch and did a little bit of shopping.

Aug 1: Joe went in to work at my mom's school; the rest of us met them for lunch at McD's. Then we went to see my dad's new and very awesome classroom, and everyone but Grant held Julius Squeezer, the snake. Then Mom took the kids to her playground and the rest of us went to hit the 70% off clearance sales at the mall. Spent too much money.

Aug 2: Everyone, including the kids, spent time varnishing the deck. While the guys finished and the kids napped, my mom and I canned chicken and stew meat. Soooo easy--I think even I can do it on my own! The kids went to watch The Smurfs with Grandma and Grandpa, Joe, Brent and date, and I went to watch Harry Potter 7 part II. Great movie, but the double date was a little awkward. Sorry lil' brother.

Aug 3: We went to my mom's secretary's campground. We ate a picnic lunch, paddle boated, and fished. It was fun! The boys had intended to go camping up in the woods, but it started raining so they didn't.

Aug 4: We celebrated Ben's birthday with steak and potatoes and ice-cream cake. Yum! Then we spent some time telling stories about him and wondering who he would have been; this year was his 29th birthday. We miss you, Ben! My mom and I spent hours and hours making Star Wars costumes for the kids for Halloween. My mom did most everything while I pretended to help. They turned out pretty good. Also made strawberry jam. yum-o! We spent the evening on the deck, ate smores, and enjoyed one last evening of wonderful weather.

Aug 5: We went to swimming lessons and were on the road by 10:45. We spent another few hours with the Yearsleys, and now my kids are begging me to let them spend the night. Yearsleys: you are invited anytime you'd like! They fed us a delicious dinner and breakfast, but my favorite was the fruit and spinach salad with the candied pecans. Delish!

Aug 6: We got home late late at night. Grant was a pill and Ammon was done traveling, but the van made it and we are home safe and sound!

In between all of that were lots of four-wheeler rides, tractor rides, hikes in the woods, laughter, stories, outside time, and fun fun fun! Now it's just a matter of days before we celebrate Madison's birthday (SIX!!)* and return back to school. I am (not-so) secretly elated to get back on schedule and to hopefully return to cooler weather soon. I have to keep reminding myself that I can't get these days back, so instead of trying to keep the house clean (pointless), I need to enjoy these last few days home with everyone. Today was a pretty big fail, which is why I'm blogging while everyone else is in bed reading at 4 in the afternoon. Ah well.

*I bought Madison a huge wooden Barbie house (that I need to paint) off of Craigslist. It's supposed to be hidden, but she has seen it in my closet. She asked me what it was for and I told her it's a shelf to put my shoes on... haha... I think she's going to like it!

Also, blogger is not letting me upload any more pics. I will try again some other time.