Ten Questions: Answers, Anyone?

Logan's at that age--we hope it's the sign of an inquisitive mind. We couldn't make these up if we tried.

10. Why do hot things keep us warm?

9. Why do hot things kill us?

8. Why can't we feel ourselves grow up?

7. Why is Sams Club bigger than Toys R Us?

6. Why is Daddy browner than Mommy?

5. Why are drinks wet?

4. How many bugs did Heavenly Father make?

3. Why should we be good? (and the follow up: Why does being good make God happy?)

2. Why does sugar taste so good?

1. Why do you just say so?

Ten things Grant wishes he could say, but can't

10. Mom, you really should introduce more sugars into your diet.

9. This may come as a surprise to you, Madison, but I in fact do not like to be dragged across the floor.

8. If you people truly understood how ridiculous those faces looked, you probably wouldn't make them at me.

7. Ladies. Think I'm cute now? Just wait until my nose fills out and I learn a fake British accent.

6. Dad, stop your whining! If you think this is bad, just wait until I start eating solids.

5. Hey guys, when my eyes are closed, that means "baby" is sleeping. It's called courtesy. Try it.

4. Mom, I'm not a girl. You can either take this outfit off me right now, or you can leave me at home. I have my preference if you're struggling with the decision.

3. Banging your head against a wall burns 150 calories an hour, Dad. Try that one.

2. They're cheeks, people, not silly putty.

1. Sorry Dad, but I do like Mom better.

Take me out to the ball game

On Saturday evening, Jenny attended her first professional sporting event. After a few beers and a fight with a former professional wrestler, she spent her first night in jail.

Just kidding about the fight part. And the beer part.

And the jail part.

note from Jenn: You knew he was kidding, right? And, also, it was my first professional baseball game--but I've been to other professional sporting events. Finally, I actually really enjoyed watching the Indians beat Texas. Almost as much as I enjoyed spending time with my sweetheart (and away from the kids). We need to do this more often!

SUPER NOTE from Joe: Now that Jenny reminds me, she did indeed attend a Buffalo Sabres (Ice Hockey) game in high school. My deepest apologies. She enjoyed that game in the company of a lucky young man, who happened to not be me. No wonder I tried so hard to forget that piece of information.

The Cleveland Indians brought a 7-game losing streak into Jacobs field. The Texas Rangers were traveling as the American League's most error-laden team. Something had to give.

The night started off in classic Cleveland fashion as we pulled up to Superior and Ninth:




We had great seats right behind the Indians' dugout:



Up to bat for Tejas is Milton Bradley. That's right you Mormon game lovers: Milton Bradley. I'm not joking. I guess if you're Mama Bradley and Omar is already taken, Milton is the logical choice. The only worse name in the Majors has to be Coco Crisp. (Yeah, Coco Crisp (http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/players/profile?statsId=6983)).


I selected this picture from about a dozen seemingly like it. Jenny took quite a few just to make sure she got one she liked. We'll see how long this one lasts.


So I wasn't kidding about the former professional wrestler part. Gracing the field this night was Sergeant Slaughter. You guy readers (both of you--and you know who you are) will remember him from either his WWF days, or his GI Joe days. Or, as in my case, both. Probably the coolest spectacle of the night was his clothesline of Ketchup during the hot dog race.

Thanks, Jenny, for attending what you consider to be the most boring sport ever with the only man present cheering for the visiting team.

disclaimer

I just want ya'll to know that JOE is the one who writes all the random stuff (like on the quotes on the sidebar, which I just happened to notice). Don't get me wrong, I think some of it's pretty funny, but I just don't want to get the credit....and the raised eyebrows!

Kiddos, and Grant at 2 months

Grant is already two months old! Just about every day I am reminded that Madison and Logan were once this little--although it seems long ago. I try so hard to remember what it was like to hold them at this age, but all I have are some specific memories and pictures to remind me what they looked like when they were babies. They are so fun now, and I am glad babies don't stay babies forever, but the growing happens so quickly and without anyone noticing. This realization gives me motivation to (try to) enjoy every moment and to make as many (good) memories as I can.

Father n Son

Yesterday was the annual Father n' Son outing. Here are a few shots summarizing the event.


Christened "The Marriott" by Shane Manning, Logan exams his vast kingdom from his castle's portico (Logan calls the vestibule the "Garage"). I took a lot of flack for bringing such a big tent. But when I made omelets in the tent's kitchen, no one seemed to be laughing anymore.


Isaiah is strategically bundled. It wasn't that cold; Sam just wanted Isaiah's movement restricted enough so he couldn't run too far away.


I'm sure Andy Theurnaggle laments--at least on occasion--his decision to quit modeling for Ralph Lauren and matriculate into dental school. He rests assured, however, knowing that Taylor can pick up right where dad left off.


Logan's really good at toasting marshmallows. In fact, he insists on dad not helping. Blowing out the flaming sugar puffs? Not so much.


John Russell decided to sport the Russian poet look (since Garn Smith was nowhere to be found). Vondelay Reis de Silva is staring at . . . well, I'm not sure what he's looking at, but John sure thinks it's funny.

Good times by all. Good times even for Sam Meeks, who caught some rock fragmentation in his eye thanks to pre-pubescent lads that think it's funny to make fire out of small rocks rather than wood. Good times even to me, who fielded approximately 5,493 questions from Logan over the course of the campout. I have no idea why the sun is bigger than a flashlight. Bad on me.

This is Kirtland

One of the benefits of living in Cleveland is that our Mormon visitors have something to do while they are here. My parents used the occasion of Grant's blessing as an excuse to revisit Kirtland.



Jenny's family came in from PA to meet us in Kirtland. Here we are at the Whitney store.


Although he can't read, Logan knows exactly what the sign on the table says. This picture captures his internal struggle, debating the consequences of defying the sign.





True to form, it rained the day we planned to visit Kirtland. Sad. But not surprised.



Here my parents are explaining to Jenny what a wonderful joy I was to raise, that I caused no problems, and that basically, I raised myself. In fact, they are thinking of authoring a book on the subject, "What to do with your time when your child is mature enough to be considered a third parent."

Unfortunately, since this was all in Spanish, Jenny didn't understand a word. Too bad.

a single serving of cake in 90 seconds?

That's right! My friend Rachel posted this yummy "recipe." I tried it last night and it was so good that I thought I should share with all of you. Enjoy!
http://winsorbloggity.blogspot.com/2008/05/yummy.html

How Do I Love Thee?

Let me count the ways.

Editor's Note: Some have viewed this post with a captioned picture of Jenny cutting her birthday cake. Upon first sight, Jenny removed the picture. I responded by reposting it. Like everything in our marriage, Jenny wins. Sorry to all but the first eight or so people that viewed this post.

Jenn's Note: Actually, no, I don't always win. However, I have yet to loose all the baby weight and the pictures of me are quite...well I just didn't want to share them with you all. Sorry.

In 1845, Elizabeth Barrett Browning manufactured one of man's most distressing obligations when she penned the 43rd sonnet of Sonnets from the Portuguese, which begins with the immortal "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways."

In honor of Jenny's 27th birthday, I've decided to memorialize just 28 (one to grow on, of course) of the ways in which I love the woman that, after much daily consternation while I am at work, decides to not change the locks on the doors before I return.

So without further adieu . . .

1. She's beautiful. Even without makeup. Even in the mornings. And yes, even when she gets really, really upset.

2. She's smart.

3. She can match. A skill that has eluded me since birth. If it were up to me I would wear to work just white shirts and black slacks so that I never risked my tie not matching. She walks out of the closet looking like she walked off the cover of a magazine.

4. She can cook. I like to pretend that I'm the family chef, but Jenny never burns our food beyond recognition, never sets off every fire alarm in the house, nor does she prepare food that no one--not even the author of the art--can eat because his experiment simply tastes horrible.

5. She is thrifty. (Some would argue parsimonious, but it's Mother's Day.)

6. She's an EXCELLENT mother.

7. She's a great teacher. Jenny teaches the kids so well. All I can do is teach them words that Jenny later has to inform them, "We don't say those kinds of words."

8. She's humble. She has no idea how valuable she is.

8. She can count.

10. She has an AMAZING memory. (So, maybe that's not always a good thing.)

11. She's friendly. She likes everyone. Hey, she even likes me (usually), and that's saying something.

12. She's a great friend. She is so good about holding off judgment.

13. She is a great listener.

14. She makes a killer oatmeal cake.

15. Her favorite breakfast is oatmeal. I don't know why I should love her for that, but anyone whose favorite breakfast is oatmeal deserves some kind of recognition for it. yuk.

16. She's thoughtful. So many times I wake up in the morning to learn that Grant woke up several times. Jenny takes care of him because she wants me to be able to save my energy for the office.

17. She's adventurous.

18. She's responsible. If I were to rank these, this attribute would probably top all others. She's mature well beyond her years.

19. She has a good eye for art.

20. She is logical. Even when she's illogical (and I'll stop right there).

21. She doesn't have an infatuation with numbers. It's true. Unlike her husband, who is reminded at this juncture of his favorite number, seven, and that he had to include an extra attribute for his wife so that this post would involve a multiple of that number. See, Jenny's just not weird like that. And I love her for it.

22. She reads. I'm always about to feed the kids something when Jenny, just in the knick of time, halts my efforts to inject them with a chemical that the state of California has found to cause large ear warts in lab rats--thanks, CNN.

23. She's current. She reads the news and understands why it matters.

24. She is not quick to anger. (Thanks.)

25. She has good handwriting.

26. She is an incredible piano player. Jenny's talent far surpasses her confidence; she gets nervous when she plays in front of others. But there are few things I enjoy more than sitting on a Sunday afternoon listening to her play Rachmaninoff.

27. She has beautiful eyes.

28. She married me. If there is a greater sign of charity, I don't know if it.

This list is short. I could never hope to cover all the ways in which I love her, because each day she does something new, I notice something new, or I am reminded of how perfect she is. I swear I'm the luckiest man alive.

Jenny, I love you. Happy Birthday, and Happy Mother's Day!

Eensy Weensy Spider

Yesterday Logan found a little black spider in the playroom. Normally he would become frantic and cry for me to come get it. This time he decided to take care of business himself. He told me there was a spider and that he was going to smoosh it with a shoe. I was proud of my little 4 yr old! However, when Logan got the shoe next to the spider he just couldn't do it. He called me in to see the spider and then explained that the spider was little and wouldn't hurt him; in fact, the spider would be quite sad if he got smooshed. Instead, he was going to take a piece of toilet paper and put the spider outside. How could I disagree? So Logan got some toilet paper, scooped up the spider, and tried to take him outside. To his dismay, the spider wouldn't move. So we decided to throw it away.

Smiles and Giggles

Grant has been smiling for a few weeks, but every time we get the camera out he starts concentrating on the camera and stops smiling. I finally got one! (At an awkward angle, but ah well.)

Grant was blessed on Sunday, May 4. Joe's parents and my parents were able to come. Grant's first real laugh was the same day (for dad, too!), and he's been laughing at us ever since. He is most likely to perform after a good nap, and the kids (and mom and dad) make silly noises and funny faces to get him to smile and laugh.