How Do I Love Thee?

Let me count the ways.

Editor's Note: Some have viewed this post with a captioned picture of Jenny cutting her birthday cake. Upon first sight, Jenny removed the picture. I responded by reposting it. Like everything in our marriage, Jenny wins. Sorry to all but the first eight or so people that viewed this post.

Jenn's Note: Actually, no, I don't always win. However, I have yet to loose all the baby weight and the pictures of me are quite...well I just didn't want to share them with you all. Sorry.

In 1845, Elizabeth Barrett Browning manufactured one of man's most distressing obligations when she penned the 43rd sonnet of Sonnets from the Portuguese, which begins with the immortal "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways."

In honor of Jenny's 27th birthday, I've decided to memorialize just 28 (one to grow on, of course) of the ways in which I love the woman that, after much daily consternation while I am at work, decides to not change the locks on the doors before I return.

So without further adieu . . .

1. She's beautiful. Even without makeup. Even in the mornings. And yes, even when she gets really, really upset.

2. She's smart.

3. She can match. A skill that has eluded me since birth. If it were up to me I would wear to work just white shirts and black slacks so that I never risked my tie not matching. She walks out of the closet looking like she walked off the cover of a magazine.

4. She can cook. I like to pretend that I'm the family chef, but Jenny never burns our food beyond recognition, never sets off every fire alarm in the house, nor does she prepare food that no one--not even the author of the art--can eat because his experiment simply tastes horrible.

5. She is thrifty. (Some would argue parsimonious, but it's Mother's Day.)

6. She's an EXCELLENT mother.

7. She's a great teacher. Jenny teaches the kids so well. All I can do is teach them words that Jenny later has to inform them, "We don't say those kinds of words."

8. She's humble. She has no idea how valuable she is.

8. She can count.

10. She has an AMAZING memory. (So, maybe that's not always a good thing.)

11. She's friendly. She likes everyone. Hey, she even likes me (usually), and that's saying something.

12. She's a great friend. She is so good about holding off judgment.

13. She is a great listener.

14. She makes a killer oatmeal cake.

15. Her favorite breakfast is oatmeal. I don't know why I should love her for that, but anyone whose favorite breakfast is oatmeal deserves some kind of recognition for it. yuk.

16. She's thoughtful. So many times I wake up in the morning to learn that Grant woke up several times. Jenny takes care of him because she wants me to be able to save my energy for the office.

17. She's adventurous.

18. She's responsible. If I were to rank these, this attribute would probably top all others. She's mature well beyond her years.

19. She has a good eye for art.

20. She is logical. Even when she's illogical (and I'll stop right there).

21. She doesn't have an infatuation with numbers. It's true. Unlike her husband, who is reminded at this juncture of his favorite number, seven, and that he had to include an extra attribute for his wife so that this post would involve a multiple of that number. See, Jenny's just not weird like that. And I love her for it.

22. She reads. I'm always about to feed the kids something when Jenny, just in the knick of time, halts my efforts to inject them with a chemical that the state of California has found to cause large ear warts in lab rats--thanks, CNN.

23. She's current. She reads the news and understands why it matters.

24. She is not quick to anger. (Thanks.)

25. She has good handwriting.

26. She is an incredible piano player. Jenny's talent far surpasses her confidence; she gets nervous when she plays in front of others. But there are few things I enjoy more than sitting on a Sunday afternoon listening to her play Rachmaninoff.

27. She has beautiful eyes.

28. She married me. If there is a greater sign of charity, I don't know if it.

This list is short. I could never hope to cover all the ways in which I love her, because each day she does something new, I notice something new, or I am reminded of how perfect she is. I swear I'm the luckiest man alive.

Jenny, I love you. Happy Birthday, and Happy Mother's Day!