Growing a Friendship

(This is part 2 of a continued narrative of how I met/fell in like/love with Joe. If you missed part 1, go back and read it.)

It became quickly apparent that Mandarin was not going to be as easy to learn as I thought it would be. The grammar and sentence structure are not too difficult, but the different tones and characters are hard to learn. Tutoring with a native speaker was made available a few weeks into the semester, and we (Kathleen and I) were smart enough to know when we needed help and extra practice. Ironically, Joe and his roommate, Dave, also showed up to take advantage of the free tutoring.

It is difficult to know how much information to share, especially because other people are involved, but for the sake of record-keeping, I'm going to stick to the truth as I know it as much as possible. Since we are all happily married with families, I hope the people in my stories can forgive me, and correct me if I am wrong.

So anyway, Joe and his roommate, and me and my roommate, were in the class and in tutoring. Language classes (at least Mandarin), unlike many other college classes, are held daily--so you quickly gain a friend-family after spending so much time together. Naturally, the four of us grouped and paired up, though I honestly do not remember who initiated what. What I do know is that both boys had a good sense of humor and were fun to be around. My roommate kind of liked Joe's roommate, and Joe has since told me that his roommate thought I was cute and was trying to find a way to ask me out on a date.

One of our first conversations went like this:
Joe: Why are you taking Mandarin?
Me: I taught English in China last semester and I came to love the people and the culture, and someday I want to live there. I AM going to go back, and this time it would be nice if I could speak the language. Why are you in this class?
Joe: So I can talk to my wife.
Me: okay.

Joe says he doesn't like me to bring up that story, and he claims he was just being funny, but the reality is that he (and I think his roommate) had what is known as "yellow fever." They (like all of us) found Asian girls to be very attractive. Now whether or not that is really why he took the class--you decide. Or ask him. (Or ask me. I will tell you some more of our pre-dating conversations on the subject!) The funny thing is that it really did come true. I mean. . . my Chinese isn't fantastic (I've forgotten most of it, but we do occasionally try to communicate with the phrases I do remember, mixed with the Spanish I almost remember), but if he hadn't taken the class, we wouldn't be husband and wife!


Not long after the semester started, Joe missed several days of class. When we asked his roommate, he explained that his best friend had been killed by a drunk-driver and Joe had driven to Texas to attend the funeral. I don't know what kind of student Joe was before this event, but after--he often skipped class and was not very studious. You are surprised, right?! So Kathleen and I started going to his apartment to check-up on him and to make sure he was ok. I have never really given any thought about whose idea it was, but last night I went through some old paper memories (I'm so glad Joe is a saver, because I would've thrown them all away), and I found these cards that we had made--well, they are all in her handwriting and with her creative talent--so I can only assume that she was the thoughtful one of the two of us, although I did tag along.

(sorry, I don't know how to turn this)

The first time we went to his apartment we were completely disgusted by the filthiness of the kitchen. Every dish in the place was scattered across the tiny room with food dried to it. Kathleen and I filled up the sink and got to work scrubbing the kitchen. In return, a few days (weeks?) later he took us both to watch Meet the Fockers in Idaho Falls. (Clearly, he didn't know me well, and I didn't know him well enough to tell him I hated stupid movies!) On the way home he stopped at a gas station and bought us each an Energy Sobe.

(the money went into pocket)

Not long after we started talking, we discovered that Joe gave the best boy-advice. So we'd go to him with our stories and our worries and he would listen and tell us things like, "Boys are kind of stupid sometimes. What about...." We really liked that he admitted how dumb boys were. One particular question I had for him had to do with a boy who would come to visit me and seemed to be interested in me, but when I went to his apartment all he did was show me pictures that all these girls had given him. I was confused by the mixed signals; Joe said he was trying to make me feel like if I wanted him I better move fast before someone else did. I gotta' tell you. That guy's plan backfired. It just made me mad and I swore never to go back to his apartment again.

One day in class, Joe started bragging about his cooking prowess. We laughed and played along, and to prove himself, he took me (did Kathleen come, too?) to Broulims to buy the ingredients for chili and then made us chili from scratch. I don't remember if I liked it, but I love his chili these days, so I probably liked it then. No matter what, I thought it was pretty cool that he could cook.

Sometime in September or October he started dating a girl and I started dating a boy. We would talk to each other about our like-interests and our plans for the weekends. We were on our way to becoming good friends.