Getting to Dating

About 7 months after getting hitched, Joe and I were invited to watch Edward Scissorhands  at a friend's house. This friend, Josh, had played in a band with Joe, and I had gone with Joe to Josh's mission homecoming a year earlier. He had been married for about two months. For some reason, Joe and I arrived a bit late with a pan of brownies. We didn't want to interrupt the movie, so we just sat down on the floor next to another couple that neighbored with Josh and his wife, Karen. After the movie, we stayed and chatted for about an hour, but the other girl didn't say a word. I figured she was shy, and after a bit I (once again) decided to go out of my comfort zone to try and involve the girl in the conversation. I said something like, "We haven't been introduced. I'm Jenn, what's your name?" "Somerli."

Holy Crap. I had only heard of one person with that name. . . the girl Joe was dating the semester we met in Mandarin class. 

I think I said, "Oh." And that pretty much ended the conversation. I didn't know what else to say and to be honest, I was ready to get out of there.  

We can laugh now (and we did last night--because writing all of this down is bringing up a lot of fun memories), but at the time it was extremely uncomfortable and I felt a weird sense of competition! 

I asked Joe why he didn't say something to me earlier that night. He said that he was shocked to see her sitting in the room, and we were late so introductions were never made. And then the longer we were there, the more awkward it would have been to bring it up. 

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I had met her one other time--Ricks Homecoming, September 2000. I went with Backstreet Brad (the boy who sang and danced to N'Sync and the Backstreet Boys) and Joe went with Somerli. We ran into each other--I think on some stairs--and we introduced each other to each other's dates. I guess I never really looked to see what she looked like, though. Obviously. (I have pictures from that dance, but Joe told me that I shouldn't do anymore pictures of pictures and said he would scan them for me at his office, but secretly I think he just took them all so I couldn't post them. ;) Check back later, they might get added.)

It must be that he broke things off with her sometime towards the end of September or the beginning of October because after General Conference that fall he and his apartment invited my apartment to go over and play soccer in some fields (there were lights, I think). It was cold, and we were getting bundled up at our apartment when Brad and his pose (Moses and Big Russ) came over to visit. We explained that we were going to meet some friends for soccer and invited them to come along. They did.

Apparently that didn't go over so well, because it became an angry-ish game between the two boys' apartments and I had to hear from everyone later about how they hated each other. Joe's apartment said Brad was a loser and Brad's apartment started calling Joe "Eskimo Joe." I felt stuck in the middle (which I guess I was--but honestly, I was so naive that I never considered that it would be a problem to have my guy friends get together to play soccer). I don't think I saw very much of Brad after that, and when I did I was usually with Joe, so that was kind of awkward, too.

Looking back, I realize how some communication skills would have been super helpful, because no one knew what was going on, and I was afraid of hurting someone's feelings and losing friends. 

Our first official date was a double date with one of Joe's roommates--we can't remember if it was Johnny or Jeff, and I haven't found the pictures, yet. We went to Mesa Falls, about an hour's drive away, and enjoyed the sights, walked a little, and Joe made a picnic lunch. If I remember right, it was a lunchable kit and sparkling cider. He wore a hat, too, and I sent pictures to my mom (snail mail, because digital cameras and easy ways to post pictures were unheard of) and she told me she needed a different picture so she could see what his hair looked like. He does have nice hair. :)  

Joe started hanging out more and more at my apartment, and one night we (I know at least the girls in my apartment, but maybe some of Joe's roommates were there, too?) were watching a movie and Joe and I were sitting by each other on the floor. The backs of our hands were almost touching, and somehow they started to touch, and we held hands for the first time.