Long Overdue... and I Mean (this is) Long

Around Mother's Day a friend put out the challenge to blog about the joy of motherhood. I told her I would take the challenge, but when I started thinking about it, I didn't know how to put my feelings into words. 2 months later....

Being a mother has given me someone(s) to love and someone(s) to love me back. Motherhood has made me learn how to be less selfish and more selfless. Instead of buying myself clothes, getting my nails done, or reapplying makeup throughout the day--I spend my time and money on these precious people around me. There are times when I miss the time and money (and more complimentary pictures), but honestly--I think I have more confidence in myself when I feel that I can be beautiful and "cool" without trying so hard. I have truly found joy and purpose in life through caring for my children and watching them learn and grow.

I have this theory that a parent can never give his or her child too much love, time, and praise. (I do believe a child can have too many toys.) The world will soon tell my children they are not smart enough, beautiful enough, and all around good enough. So now--while I have some sway--I am doing all I can to help them know that they are beautiful, intelligent, and good. (This doesn't mean I don't lose my temper. I do.) So for now, Piaget's Egocentrism is ok--our world revolves around these little people.

Finally, I'm finding that these years go by very quickly. Since they are the only years we have, I hope that when my children look back to their childhoods, they have warm-fuzzies of dancing in the kitchen, mom wearing an apron and making yummy food (and kids begging for cheese and vegetables), library visits, picnics at the playground, Saturday workdays, and family outings--to name a few. I admit, the hope of these fond memories is what spurs me to action and enables me to spend precious time and money on things that are lasting though intangible (oh to have furniture!). They will be my memories, too, and ones I won't regret.

People have commented that they have noticed that I seem to love being a mother. I do. I really, really do. It's not always easy--in fact, here's a story....

One day Joe came home and told me about someone (?) who had a cook who came in and cooked 2 or 3 meals a day for this family. Then Joe said something like, "Can you imagine that being your full-time job? To just go somewhere and cook and clean for someone else and then to go home for the day? Wouldn't you just feel like a servant?" I gave him the LOOK. "Oh," says he, "I guess that is kind of what you do." "Yes," I say, "only I don't get to go 'home.' And I don't get paid. And it's a bit more than cooking."

I haven't always found joy in being a mother--I mean, I've always loved my kids--so I guess I mean I haven't always found motherhood fulfilling or rewarding. But it is rewarding to see children progress. Life is a little less demanding when kids can go to the bathroom, get dressed, and tell you why they are sad. And I think I've changed. I have had to set goals and I have had to make an effort to be a happier, more optimistic person. I have learned to love to serve. I have learned to find joy in little things. I am still trying to live in the moment, be more spontaneous, and to find joy in this journey.

Joe and I celebrate our 9th anniversary next week. We went to the temple last night to do sealings--we joked that we were renewing our vows. It was comforting to hear those words and to know that we belong to each other for eternities.

Oh, and if you got this far and want to know how we are doing: we are doing fine. Things are looking up every month. I still feel nervous, but I am grateful that Joe is willing to work so hard to make our dreams come true. That sounds cheesy, I know, but seriously--if this works out (and it will)--we will be living the dream. We already do, in most aspects, but you know--money makes life lots easier. Madison and Logan are excited for school. Grant and I will have to figure out what to do... I'm thinking lots and lots of fun!! How easy will it be to go shopping with only 1 kid! And hey--we can afford to go out for lunch once in a while if there's just one kid! And maybe now I will be able to sit down one-on-one and teach Grant his ABC's--sibling-distraction-free! Do you see all of these-!!!!! I will miss Logan and Madison, though--I can't believe they are going to be away from me all day. :( That is why I am being such a cool fun mom this summer--school is cool, but mom RULES!

Until next time....

Dad Life

May the Force be with You

Our kids are participating in a summer reading program from Half Priced Books where the store gives them a $3 gift certificate for reading during the week. Week 1 was a success, and with his $3, Logan bought a Star Wars book. Logan is such a fantastic reader that he completed the book that same day.

Later, we were all at the table. Logan says to Jenny, "Mom, I think you probably have the 'Force.'" (The Force is the power in the universe that the Jedi nights in Star Wars use.)

Jenny: "Really? Why do you think I have the Force?"

Logan: "Because you force daddy to do a lot of things."

A Surprise Visit from the Tooth Fairy

As many of you know, Jenny struggles with her temper.

Shortly after Logan was born, Jenny started growing a fungus behind her ear. The doctor prescribed some antibiotics, but Jenny misread the label ("take one pill a day for 14 days" for "take 14 pills in one day"). It disrupted a small node in the brain, and ever since then Jenny spins wildly out of control at the slightest provocation.

Whenever Jenny "flips," we have to pin her down and inject her with a tranquilizer strong enough to doze a horse. But despite her frail frame, she's actually quite tough to bring down (primarily because she only eats beef and cauliflower).

Last week, Jenny asked me if I liked her haircut . . . again.

"I think it looks great. It's growing back really fast."

"WHAT?!" She demanded, as she plowed her plate across the table and against the wall. "YOU DON'T LIKE MY HAIR JUST THE WAY IT IS???"

Logan knew the drill. He quickly ran to the electronic safe where we keep mommy's "sleeping juice."

I tried to put my arm around Jenny, but she intercepted me with a sharp thrust from her bony elbow. She started cursing . . . in Latin. I maneuvered behind her and placed her in the hold the nurses taught me.

Logan reappeared with the saving syringe. He approached Jenny, trying to insert the "needle of peace"--as it's called in our house--into the only meat Jenny has on her body: her thigh.

But just as Logan bent down to inject, Jenny kicked her feet out wildly. Jenny's right pinkie toe caught Logan just right in the mouth.

This was the result:

So there you go. Now everyone knows how Logan lost his first tooth. He was an excellent sport. He wanted to cry, but didn't.

We placed a modest sum under his pillow that night, and his first act was to wake his parents up the next morning and report his increase.

His second act was to record his income in his savings account ledger.

Date with a President

Jenny and I are finding it harder and harder to go on dates. Three kids, a demanding schedule, and a new city will do that. We sorely miss our network of families in Cleveland that exchanged babysitting with us. Fortunately, however, my sister lives in Dallas, and she and her husband volunteered to take our kids to the Dallas World Aquarium.

While my sister was regretting her decision, Jenny and I moseyed on over a few blocks to visit the site where JFK was shot.

The building is the Dallas Schoolbook Depository. Lee Harvey Oswald fired his gun from the right side of the building (facing), second window down from the top. You will notice a white "x" at the bottom left of this picture. That's where one of the bullets made contact with Kennedy's head.

People lined the streets to watch Kennedy's motorcade. Spectators lined up against the infamous "Grassy Knoll," which is across this street. From there, eyewitness--one of which happened to be there the day Jenny and I visited--insisted that at least two shots were fired from behind the fence atop the grassy knoll. (Generally, I'm not a fan of conspiracy theorists, nor do I know too much about the JFK assassination, but this eyewitness was sure convinced that there was a second gunman.)

Here's the fence on the Grassy Knoll. Notice the red spray dot above the blue sign. This is where eyewitnesses identified where one of the bullets were fired from.

All in all, it was fun to see a pivotal scene in American history. Next time, we'll probably just find a rodeo.

Makeup Artist

I admit it: I wasn't watching Grant. Jenny was at YW's, and I can't even remember where I was at the time. But it suddenly occurred to me that Grant had not made a noise for a while, so I searched for him (first assuming that if he was that quiet, he must be outside). I eventually found him gently brushing Jennifer's makeup against his eyes. He has evidently watched her numerous times because he applied it like a pro. He cried when I washed it off his face.

Jenny's Birthday

I took this picture with my camera phone, so there isn't enough detail to count the candles on the cake. There are 34. ahem. Let me just say I have not yet entered my 30's. Joseph, though, will be turning 32 this year. :)

Happy Birthday, Jenny.

Trips with Dad

I've tried to take the kids on "dates" recently. We've really tried to focus on approaching each kid as an individual, and hopefully these dates will further us towards that end.

Here's Madison in downtown Dallas. Madison was kind enough to accompany me to a Saturday morning appointment. Afterwards we rode the trolley in Uptown and finished things off with some frozen yogurt at this yogurt buffet place.

This is Logan in a downtown park. True to Logan's character, we rode the train over to the Barnes and Noble at Cityplace where we thumbed through several dozen superhero books.

This is Granty in my home town, Salado. It's incredible to think that once I was his age, standing on the banks of the same creek, possibly throwing the same round rocks.

(Jenny is also trying to take the kids on dates, but she has yet to snap any photographic evidence.)

Jenny's Hair

This is the most you will see of Jenny's hair . . . until I can snap a cleaner picture.

I think it looks great.

(By the way, today is Jenny's birthday.

She's 32.)

I am NOT 32!!!

The World's Best Mother

Let's get it out of the way right now: Words cannot describe how amazing of a mother Jennifer is.

But I'm going to try anyway.

Somehow Jenny was born with an innate sense of motherhood. I recognized it almost the first time I met her. I've made a lot of poor decisions in my life, but the moment I sensed her potential, I was hooked, and moved in for the kill. At that point in my life I wasn't very interested in marriage, but Jennifer was too good to pass up.

So what makes Jennifer so awesome? Again, words can't really describe (or more appropriately, MY words). But here' s a brief list:

1) Patience. She never seems to get frustrated with the children. Often the kids will commit the same kid-sins over and over, but she refuses to resort to a violent response.

2) Perspective. She knows she is nurturing future leaders. She explains things rather than just offering quick answers. She makes sure the kids understand principles. Everyday she tries to make the kids better people.

3) Continuing Education. She always includes in her robust reading schedule books addressing the latest issues in child-rearing.

4) Intelligent. She is so well-rounded. She reads so much, and she is able to offer her knowledge to our children.

5) Energetic. I don't know how she does it, but each day she has structured pre-school lessons for Madison. She gives Logan piano lessons. She manages Grant, which is a full time job. She takes them to Library programs, to community events, to the playground. She gets up early each day, and each day has a purpose.

6) Attentive. It's the little things like braiding Madison's hair, or making sure Logan has a complete lunch or that he does his homework. These are things that dads might forget, or slack on. But not her. She covers all the details.

7) Loving. Perhaps most importantly, Jenny's focus is on her children at all times of the day. Sometimes I like peace and quiet. I'm sure Jenny does, too, but she sets that desire aside to be with the children. She wants them to know at all times that their mother is there and available.

I certainly married up. There was never any question in my mind that Jenny would be a remarkable mother. So it's good to see that at least I'm right about ONE thing.

Jenny, you're awesome!

A Woman Scorned?

In 1697 William Congreve insisted that "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." Evidently, Mr. Congreve's wife never got a haircut she hated.

This morning, that's what Jenn got.

advice needed:

It's been a while since I've gotten my hair cut--I think I'm going to get it cut and call it my mother's day present. Here is my hair history:

• 6th grade: asked my mom to cut it short and perm it. Boys at school called me bald eagle. My boyfriend (haha--I was 11) dumped me. I swore I'd never have short hair again.
• 8th grade: hair was long again.
• College: cut my hair to my shoulders. It was ok. Kept it between shoulder length and long for several years.
• 2005: 8 months pregnant with Madison. Hot and miserable. Asked the hair-lady to give me a longer a-line. She really messed up. I cried a lot. (I think there is a pic. of me with shorter hair on the side bar.) Mother of a boy I taught piano lessons to told me I got a "mommy hair-cut." I cried a lot. Got it cut into a shorter a-line the same day.
• 2005-2010: long hair. try bangs about every other year.

SO people! What should I do? Should I keep it long? Bangs again? Try something short?

Every time I cut it short I hate it! But I don't love it long, either. And it's hot here in TX--all I do these days is put it in a pony tail. Bangs have been a good option because it is something different, but not too drastic. Give me your opinion! Send me links to pictures!