End of the Road

The last 24 hours have been interesting. Long story short: a friend broke up with me. It was so fantastically unexpected that I don't know whether I should laugh or cry. As with most breakups, it kind of stings and probably requires some time.

Which brings me to my subject.

 Breakups: brought to you by me.

My first boyfriend came about through the use of a "circle yes or no" note in the sixth grade. I think we "went out" for two weeks, but he was a fast mover and started bringing me gifts every day. . . like roses and teddy bears. Five teddy bears, to be exact. That creeped me out a little, so I sent two friends during an indoor recess to return the teddy bears and deliver the bad news. He graciously accepted the teddy bears, ripped them up with scissors, and then threw the stuffing back at me.

A short time later, another "yes or no" note took place and I went out with a boy for about a month. You've heard about this boy--the one I invited to my sixth grade birthday party at a skating rink. Also the one who broke up with me when I got a short hair cut and then called me bald eagle. (I've never purposefully had short hair since then.)

Then seventh grade happened. New school, new classes, new friends. I gradually, but quickly, lost my best friend of 3 years and had to figure out how to make new friends. That was hard. I survived.

I think that my first real boyfriend happened during the summer before ninth grade. Or was it tenth? I'm pretty sure this happened without a note, though I can't quite remember. There was never an official break-up (again, if I remember correctly), just assumptions and hurt feelings and a few years later we both realized that it was actually a communication problem.

The big break-up happened during my senior year of high school. The one where your friend tells you what is going on behind your back and you think you're going to die and can't imagine how your life will keep on keep on going on. (Of course, now I know it is the best thing that ever happened to me. Whew!)

Then there are the unannounced breakups. . . like the boy that I was kind of dating but had never officially asked me to be his girlfriend. . . he was probably surprised when he found out I was getting married. Oops.

Same with Backstreet Brad, who took me out for dinner and to the Homecoming dance at college and danced Backstreet Boy songs for me--and then I invited him to come play soccer with me and some cute boys (ahem, Joe and his roommates). He never asked me out after that.

(Can I just interject here and say that now, 12-20ish years later, I realize that I was kind of a jerk. I would like to apologize to all those boys. --I say "all," haha, there weren't that many, really. --I don't think I realized that I had the power to hurt people and I thought boys were unhurtable, but I was talking to Joe about it recently and he said that, yes, boys actually do have feelings and that I probably hurt some feelings. Again, I'm so sorry.)

Bottom line, I thought I had put all those days behind me, but I guess relationships keep changing and developing. Those changes happen for many reasons, good or bad. Some changes are gradual and some more abrupt; all leave behind memories and refine who we are.

Whether you live across the world or next door to me, thanks for being my friend.