We kept the pregnancy very quiet--partly because I savor the secret, and partly because after my miscarriage in April I felt terrified of it happening again. My first ob appointment was yesterday (I didn't even call the doctor until I got past the point I was in April when I miscarried, and I got a lecture for it, too). We wanted to take an announcement picture on Sunday because we all looked nice for church, and because I knew that once I got a good report that I would want to celebrate with family and friends.
Of course, that meant we had to explain to the kids why we wanted them to line up by birth order. Joe said, "Say what number of kid you are." Then when he got to me he asked me what number I was. "Five!" The kids were so confused, saying things like, "Mom's not a kid!" Finally, they got it, and started asking a million questions about gender and names and dates and what it feels like. Basically, I'm going to be answering a lot of questions over the next 6 months!
Also, Madison likes to touch my belly and talk to the baby, and it takes a lot of willpower to not push her away and say, "stop touching me!!!" ...I try to do/say it nicely....
Anyway, Sunday evening we sent the picture to our families and made some phone calls. I'm glad we did, because it was nice having that support and knowing that there were a few people who knew I was going to the dr--which meant if something went wrong, I had people to confide in--whereas last time I did not tell anyone until after it happened, and when you go through something like that you need support!
Joe still claims it would be fun to keep it a secret the entire 9 months and then post a picture of the baby, but he's not the one getting big and fat (can't keep that a secret!), and besides that, these next 6 1/2 months I am going to celebrate with anyone who will celebrate with me!!
I confided in Ammon shortly after we found out we were expecting. He's three, and surely had no idea what mommy was talking about when she said she had a baby in her tummy.
Wrong. A friend took him to the park one day shortly after I had pulled a muscle in my ribs and could hardly move. She told me a few days later that Ammon had "spilled the beans." I guess the lesson is to never trust a 3 year old with secrets.
Obviously, my doctor's appointment went well. There is a baby and a heartbeat! The baby was dancing around the entire time, and if you look closely you can see the profile with a little tiny nose.
The other question I have been asked is whether or not I want a boy or a girl. And the answer surprises me--I really don't care. I wanted another girl for so long, but now I know boys, and it's kind of special to just have my Madi. I admit that girls' hair bows and dresses are adorable, though. I am leaving it up to my Heavenly Father; He knows what our family needs, and whatever we get is what I want.
It's kind of crazy to think that if I hadn't miscarried that I would be having a baby in a few weeks. I thought that the holidays would be a sad reminder that we didn't have that baby, but again--I know it was part of the plan, and I look forward to this life that will join us in May instead. Also, I'm probably a lot more comfortable right now than I would be otherwise (though it's only delayed)!
Every pregnancy has been different for me. I don't get very sick, thank goodness. I have thrown up a total of 3 times with 6 pregnancies (knock on wood). With Logan I felt sick with smells or disgusting visuals (once when we were on a walk Joe spit on the ground and I started gagging). With Madison I gagged everytime I brushed my teeth. This time I feel pretty good, but when dinnertime and evening come around, I feel awful! I don't throw up, but I think if I did I would feel better! I wonder if it's just because I'm tired in the evening. To combat it, I just go to bed, and Joe has been so good to get the kids to bed by himself most nights. I am able to fall asleep quickly, fortunately, but unfortunately, I wake up around 3-4 every morning and am unable to go back to sleep. By the time I get everyone off to school I am beat! I'm not complaining, though. This is part of the experience, and especially because I'm 99.99% sure this is the last time I will have this experience, I am going to savor it. Every minute!
