today

Grant is whining, pulling at my pants, while I finish washing pans. I look over and see a toy screwdriver on the counter, and wonder why it's there. I must've taken it away from the other kids. "Here Grant! Do you want a screwdriver?" He takes it, looks at it, throws it on the ground, whines louder, and gives me the "I'm not stupid, that's not what I want and you can't trick me" look.

I can't stop laughing.

Little Reminders

I'm a mom. I watch kids, chauffeur them around, break up fights, cook for them, feed them, bathe them, clean up after them, read to them, teach them, love them, yell at them, soothe them. Repeat. I've had this job for 5 1/2 years, so I've kind of forgotten about the other roles I used to play. Today I had a little reminder, and it was thrilling and inspiring.

My Bachelor's degree is in English Education. It's been a while, and I know I've forgotten some grammar rules, and I am not in the habit of pumping out 10-page papers every day, so don't judge me on my writing here. But I was a pretty good student--I earned a scholarship from BYU-Idaho for my grades (I know many of you who read this were in my classes or worked with me and also got scholarships, so I feel silly bragging, but it's fun to remember and feel smart). I even had some papers published. I was busy--usually taking 21 credits with 3 or 4 English classes at a time and working 20 hours a week. 

I took my last English class over 6 years ago. Now I have a brother and sister who are attending BYU-Idaho. Today my brother, Dennis, called and asked if I ever had teacher so-and-so and did I take a certain class from him. At first I was like, "I don't think so. It's been a long time." He said the teacher's name again and started describing what he looked like and the class he taught. "OK, yeah, I think I know who you are talking about, why?" Dennis then explained that they have an assignment in their class and today his professor handed out an example to the students. Dennis looked at it and saw the name on it was "Jennifer McGregor." Apparently we had to give credentials and contact information because on the back of the the assignment there was information about me, including the fact that I had taught children in China for two semesters! It also listed my college email address. It was definitely mine!! (I got 100%) Dennis talked to his teacher after class and informed him that I was his sister. The teacher was surprised and asked how long ago I had taken his class. I think it's been 7 years! So for 7 years, 3 semesters per year, my paper has been handed around as an example for at least 21 different classes (who knows how many classes he has each semester?)! 

Lesson? We never know how we will affect others. I hope my example has been helpful to those who have used it as their guide. I wonder how many other papers of mine are floating around BYU-Idaho? I feel flattered and reprimanded at the same time. I'm busy and have new priorities, but there's no excuse for letting my talents rot. I once felt like I could take on the world, talk to anyone,  and accomplish anything. I have forgotten the exhilaration of analyzing a piece of literature and writing pages of carefully selected words in a matter of hours. Most of the writing I do is on this blog! Maybe I don't have the time or desire to analyze stories, but I could write anecdotes about my family for my children. Why do I let motherhood and housewifery be an excuse to stop growing as an individual? I am taking some classes to keep my teaching certificate current, so I have been forced to write better and more often.  Anyway, this little story has made my day and inspired me to get writing. Thanks, Dennis!

Reality.

It's 10:35 on a Friday night. Joe's camping with Logan at the father and son outing. Madison, Grant, and I had a "mom date." We walked to the park, played catch, watched half of "Kung Fu Panda," and now they are sleeping and I am lonely and reminded of reality. And since it will take forever to fall asleep without my husband-pillow, I'm journaling my feelings of the moment. 

Joe leaves for Texas in just over a week to start meeting people, to get serious studying done for his second bar in 2 years, and to begin work for our new life. Usually a night alone is a blessing--there is something to be said about peace and quiet and time to watch a girly movie or cuddle with a good book; however, tonight the quiet foreshadows the next several weeks or months that I will be acting as a single mother. 

Several families in our ward are moving this week. I have grown close to one family in particular, and when we took our walk today, I walked past their empty home and the sadness of the next few months was almost overwhelming. 

On top of everything else, I realized today that Joe's severance package ends in 5 days. We've been living very frugally these past few months, knowing that the day would come, but until now we've known that money was still coming in for a while. We've been preparing and saving for this new step, but we know it isn't going to be easy. 

Our home is still up for sale. We had quite a few showings the first month, but 0 showings this past month. We will probably lower the price soon; however, we are now considering renting our home for a few years--preferably to a medical or dental student. We go back and forth between what would be better--selling our house for less than we owe--but never having to worry about it again, or renting for several years and hopefully building some equity on it while we wait for the market to get a little better. In all honesty, we wonder if either is even an option. We really love our home and neighborhood that we live in--that's why we bought it! But the reality is that there are so many homes for sale and vacant in Cleveland right now--as they are everywhere, I'm sure.

Now for the more positive updates. Joe, with the help of a great friend, did throw me a surprise party, and I was surprised. I was thinking about it today, and I'm even more surprised that he could keep it a secret. He's the type of person who would be like, "Hey, I'm so excited. You're going to be so surprised!" And then I would, of course, suspect what he was planning!

 Thanks, babe!

Grant got his first real haircut today. His hair is still pretty long (sorry I didn't take a picture), but he looks different to us. He still isn't walking, although I'm pretty sure that he could. He just doesn't want to. He knows how to turn on the boys' c.d. player and pause it (it's the same button). He turns on the music (currently a Shrek soundtrack) and starts shaking his hips. Logan gets frustrated because he (Logan) just wants to listen to his music without anyone pushing pause over and over. Grant also knows how to open the DVD player. Uh oh. He's also only nursing once every other day. 

Logan finishes preschool in a few weeks. We've been talking about kindergarten and Texas. Dad's been brainwashing him. Today he told me that Texas was his favorite state. Oh yeah. He also told me that he couldn't wait until he was a grown up because he was going to have a TV in his room and watch whatever he wanted all night long.  

Madison is my tomboy. We had our mom date tonight while the boys were gone. I asked her if she wanted to watch a girly movie. She said yes, "How about we watch Tigress" (from Kung Fu Panda). I try to convince her to wear skirt-shorts. She refuses and only wants pants. She did consent to wearing one of my t-shirts as a nightgown tonight. 

Anyway, despite a few unfortunate realities, we are doing really well. We are healthy and young, Joe and I both have marketable skills, we have great families and friends, and we will survive. It's just not as easy as we thought it would/should be. We watched Marley and Me a few weeks ago. I'm so not an animal person, but I really liked this movie. Towards the end, Owen Wilson's character asks his wife what comes next in her plan. She says something like, "I've given up on the plan. And it's soo much better [than I could've planned]." I think if we knew the plan, we'd get hung up on all of the hard stuff and miss out on all of the great stuff. 

Happy Birthday, Jennifer

On Monday, May 11, 2009, Jenny hit 28.

She thought we were celebrating her birthday on Saturday with a free Coldstone Creamery ice cream. We had just dropped off our kids at the Heather and Jason Carr's. The ice cream was fine.

We returned to the Carr's and knocked on their back door. We waited. Jennifer peaked into the window, wondering what was taking the Carr's so long to answer the door. After all, she could hear the voices of excited children.

Heather answered the door and apologized for the delay. She let us in, and allowed us Jenny to take the lead. She directed us to go through the kitchen and open the chef's door into the dining room. Jenny barreled through only to hit an invisible wall as soon as she opened the door. To her utter confusion stood her family (parents) and several of her friends yelling "SURPRISE!!!"

It worked.

Thanks, guys.

Can You Tell

We are running out of things to say?

Joe's Thought of the Day

“Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games.”

- Jack Handy

Quote of the Day

Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.  

~P.J. O'Rourke

Random

Why is it that every time I comment on someone's blog I have the urge to tell them what the word verification is? I guess the real question is: why do I find the "word verification" choice of letters so humorous?

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I saw someone else who did this star thing to break up their thoughts. I thought it was a good idea.

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I would really like to get up at 5:00 a.m. and sit outside on the patio and drink hot chocolate while I watch the sun rise and write in my journal. I got up at 6:30 a.m. instead. Maybe tomorrow.

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I'm not sure if I should publish my random thoughts. You might think I'm crazy.

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Madison agrees.

 

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I forgot. Grant is showing signs of desire to walk. This includes pushing the walker toy and taking a few steps on his own. We're relieved.