The JL McGregor Family: Joe's Thought of the Day

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Joe's Thought of the Day

“Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games.”

- Jack Handy

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Hometown: Dallas, Texas
Nickname: Stop that
Special Powers: Ability to kill you with a smile; cartwheels down the stairs
Favorite Parent: Mom
Favorite Deep Thoughts: “It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.”

“If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.”

“Probably the saddest thing you'll ever see is a mosquito sucking on a mummy. Forget it, little friend.”

Hometown: Provo, Utah
Nickname: Flaca
Special Power: Eye-batting; ability to switch personalities on a dime
Unique Attribute: Cut off the tip of her finger in order to have a story to tell on first dates
Favorite Deep Thoughts: “The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.”

"If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while you're in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it on a truck and take it to another city, boy, I don't know what to tell you."

Hometown: Rexburg, Idaho
Nickname: Bubbie, Crazy
Special Powers: Ability to recite books and television shows from memory; ability to tell mommy that Daddy ate cookies when Mommy went to the store
Favorite TV Character: Wyatt (Super Readers)
Favorite BYU Football Player: Fui Vakapuna
Favorite Deep Thoughts:"To me, it's always a good idea to carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody asks, 'Hey, can you give me a hand?,' you can say, 'Sorry, got these sacks.'"

"Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what IS that thing?!"

Hometown: Pittsfield, Pennsylvania
Nickname: *****, ****** *****, *******
Special Powers: Ability to detect on Joe's breath any sugar foods he has eaten in the past 24 hours, even after his attempts to hide the scent with brushing
Favorite Food: Chocolate
Favorite American Idol Contestant: David Archudorable
Favorite Deep Thoughts: "Whenever you read a good book, it's like the author is right there, in the room, talking to you, which is why I don't like to read good books."

"If you're a cowboy, and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine."

Hometown: Austin, Texas
Nickname: Hey
Special Power: Still working on the ability to read minds (special request from Jennifer)
Favorite Teams: BYU Cougars, Texas Longhorns, Dallas Cowboys, San Antonio Spurs, Texas Rangers, Dallas Stars
Favorite Deep Thoughts: "When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges."

"I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then when somebody comes up act like they just woke up and go, 'What was THAT?!'"