This post is all about me.
Yes, even though today is that day I celebrate the 12th year of my union with Jennifer, it's all about me. After all, it was I who saw, 12 years ago, that beautiful young woman. And it was I who, after seeing that beautiful babe, strategically put into place a cunning plan of action to make her mine. War waged; I was victorious.
I was smart enough to peer into the future. I saw that Jennifer had excellent communication skills that would help her navigate those times when we might disagree. I saw that she had amazing vision (not literally--her eyesight is atrocious) that would help her achieve important life goals. I saw that she had incredible patience--anyone spending more than about 3 minutes with me needs it.
My infinite wisdom also recognized her deep grasp of Pearl S. Buck. She objectively tackled social issues like gender inequality from many different angles. And I appreciated her fiscal restraint in preferring a thin band of gold over a gaudy engagement ring.
Finally, I was smart enough to understand how great of a mother she would be. Genetically, I saw that hers would be beautiful babies, beautiful enough to overcome even my genes. Spiritually I knew she would be an excellent guide. And I knew she would be proactive and never let the TV raise our kids. (Also, I knew she would be insanely cute as she shook her tushie during JUST DANCE KIDS.)
So I take this opportunity to gloat--to indulge in my brilliance and admire the craft in my decision-making. I picked the perfect wife. The perfect mother. God's choicest daughter. My wife, Jennifer "Metamucil" McGregor.
Happy Anniversary, my dear.
2 comments:
I'm not sure about the Metamucil thing, but the rest is really fun and romantic and thoughtful--exactly why I married you.
Happy Anniversary, Joe. The title of the post is certainly better than "Why Jennifer McGregor Might Not Have Made the Wisest Decision So Long Ago" or other less witty titles :)
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