Summer is:
Swimming
Friends
Homework
Naps
Wii (sometimes)
Reading
Cleaning
Movies (sometimes)
Library
Cooking
Eating
Siblings
Fighting
Singing
Dancing
Computer (sometimes)
Working
Playing
Late nights
Ice Cream
Traveling
Sleeping in (I wish)
Writing
Chores
Creating
Piano
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What I've been thinking about:
I recently watched a home video of a one year old who could dance! It was very cute, but made me feel like I was a bad mom because my kids don't know how to dance=we aren't doing enough dancing at home. Silly? A little? I know. But nonetheless, it has made me think about how as mothers there are some things we are really great at teaching our kids and somethings that we struggle to teach. For me, I think I am good at getting the kids to read, play on their own, and we do a lot outside. We don't watch t.v. or movies (seriously, maybe 3 hours a week--and that is including our Friday family movie). I wish I was more dedicated at teaching the kids piano (we've had one lesson in the last 2 weeks). I feel like I am constantly cleaning, but yet my house is never completely clean! I wish we danced more! I wish we did science projects and crafts (ok--I wish the kids had that experience, but it's not something I really enjoy, so we don't do a lot of that stuff). How do you balance it all and find time for everything?
Along with this, I read something about a mom who decided not to stress so much about making her kids clean their rooms. They had an hour on Saturday where they tidied it up for the week. I thought it sounded interesting, and I was going to give it a try, but it lasted ONE day! It does something to my stomach when I walk into their bedrooms and the floor is covered in clothes, papers, and toys. I don't know how to find balance as far as that goes. I don't want everyone to spend hours every day cleaning, but I start to feel frantic when there is a mess--and it's hard for me to be happy, which means I'm grouching at everyone to "hurry and clean" and "why can't you just pick up your stuff?" then they aren't having a good time either. Ideas on how you find balance would be appreciated. :)
Balance.
6 comments:
Unfortunately, I don't have any good ideas on how to have balance. But I can say I totally relate to this blog entry! This has been my struggle for years, especially over the past few days. I keep wondering how I can fit everything in to 24 hours each day! I go back and forth between wanting a spotless house, because I get stressed otherwise, and wanting to be a fun mom who enjoys her kids more.
I'm glad I read your blog today, it's just want I needed(I'm hoping others have great ideas for you :) It helps just knowing I'm not the only one, this has been bugging me for days!
Matthew is a great, energetic, silly, graceful, fun dancer... we dance most days, including in the car. He however, has a messy room. Pick and choose Jen.
Supermom=Scarymom. Sometimes.
Trying to do it all is rediculous, play to your strenths and encourage your kids to find their own, it will all work out. I think you do an amazing job.
So, we have only been at this system for a week, but it's been great and i feel like this one is going to work for the long run. I actually just posted about it on my blog. I don't give them too many chores. When they wake up they know to make their beds before they come down the stairs. We eat. I ask them if their floor is picked up in their room. If not, they pick it up. They have to keep their toys in their room. I can't handle when they bring it in the living room because it gets chaotic. They also take the garbage out during the day, and they put their clothes away. They each have their own basket so i can separate it easy when doing laundry. I fold their clothes and put it in their individual baskets and its their job to put their clothes away and to bring the basket back downstairs for me. They also are in charge of setting the table and clearing the table. And at the end of the day they are in charge of making sure none of their toys or clothes or books are on the floor anywhere, that everything is picked up. Then of course we have on their chore list, brushing their teeth, showering, praying and reading scriptures. I feel like their list isn't too much, and that little bit still helps me enough to feel sane. As they get a bit older i will feel like they can handle more, but for now i feel satisfied with the chores i have given them. On my blog i posted about the rewards they get and how we do it. Before this system i was struggling, but it really helps having a list and prizes. BUT i also know kids are so different, that what works for some won't work for others. My house isn't spotless, but it's clean enough that i feel like i can breathe. I also have a list of things i do everyday throughout the week. It helps. Also, you are right. Some things you are good at and some things we struggle with. Maybe just focus on your strengths and what your good at and don't focus on the things you don't do for them, like the dancing. :) I am sure the things you help them with are things that really matter. :) BUT i understand your frustration. I go through it too. I think we all do.
It's so ironic that you posted this because I have been struggling lately with trying to balance everything. And it's funny because I also feel the 'lack of dancing' guilt. Trust me, I am not the one to teach my kids any moves. :) I feel guilty also because I started playing the piano when I was 3. Callie is now 4 and we don't even have a piano. But I don't want to put her in piano lessons because I want to teach her. Oh the things we moms feel guilty about.
Just know that people who look at your blog thing you are a fantastic mom (okay, I can't speak for everyone but I can speak for me and Emily). I'm sure you balance motherhood/life better than most. I wish I had some advice, but I am feeling the same frustration. Thanks for helping me feel a little better knowing that I am in good company.
Not much advice here either. I agree with everyone. I think it is something every mother struggles with. Some days I feel I am doing great and others I wonder how I was trusted with kids. Ok maybe not that bad but I get frustrated. You do great! On a side note, I have been thinking of you because I found the recipe for the cake your parents made us in the dutch oven when we had the camp out. I tried it for father's day. I had forgotten how good it was. We had it for FHE tonight. It brought back some fun memories.
The secret is to not do everything. You can't balance it all and do everything. It's a remarkable fact of mortality that we can't do everything every single day. So don't beat yourself up. Just try to do some of those things once in a while and it'll be a lot more than never.
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